Family support is very important

You know when you meet with problems be it big or small, your family should be there To support u, but the sad fact turns out to be No. I have been staying with my,mother since i moved back n she has no idea what autism is all about. This i dont blame her. I will provide the information if need be becos most of the time i dont think she accepts the phase of "acceptance".

She disagrees on my decision of sending zy for certain therapies and thinks im making a mountain out of a hole. To her, zy isnt all that bad, which i agree in certain aspects, and as long as we think he doesnt have a problem, he will not have a prOblem. this i cannot agree.  By ignoring zy's condition is not going to make it go away n zy get cured miraculously. I then went for workshops and each time i came home feeling full of hopes, she would then make snide comments or think that its completely useless... am so fed up with her on this issue. She thinks that im living in my own world and not listening to other's opinions. In other words, her opinion. She thinks by sending zy to her religious teacher, he will b able to cure him. this i do not agree and suddenly she thinks im the reincarnation of evil. Wtf.

Science n logic is evil??

She kept emphasizing that im living in my own world. Sorry but may  ask who in this world doesnt 'live in their own world' ? The right word to describe is "selfishness".

There is no right nor wrong in life, only different in mentality. Just because she cant accept my way of leading my life n teaching my children, doesnt mean that im living in my own world. It just means that i dont want to live in HER world.

I dont know what the key to happiness is, but the key to misery is defintely pleasing everyone but urself.

Sorry mum, i dont wanna b u.

very disappointed in teachers nowadays...

Hey, its been a while since i last updated.. been really busy lately and whatever time i have left for the day went to my bed.. haha.

ok, just came back from sending zyon to school and i am really upset so i can hold it no longer, i need to  vent it out.

Sending zyon to this kinder was a recommendation from KK Hospital. The doctor mentioned that this school can take in children diagnosed with special needs. Upon hearing this of course this school is my first and only choice!! I remember speaking to the Principal and she saw zyon herself on that day , agreeing that he met her criteria and i was so happy!

School started and its been a week.

So far i must say its too early to tell. However, im very disappointed in his teacher and today, the Principal. I send zyon to school everyday and pick him up everyday too, this will give me the opportunity to talk to zyon and remind him what he is supposed and not supposed to do. Things like "zy you must listen to the teacher and share toys with ur classmates ok, no tantrums needed alright?" Children with special needs especially Autism, they need to be constantly reminded and told so that it gets "programmed" in their mind and slowly it becomes part of their everyday life (im not sure if this works for other people but it sure works for zyon).

Patience is the no.1 key being a teacher. (correct me if im wrong) Be it being with children with special needs or an average normal student!!

On monday, his teacher told me she needed to talk to me when i went to pick zy up from school, so i said ok and waited for her. She then asked me, "he doesnt sit still when im reading the children stories and he tends to walk around, and when they were having the sports ball session, he cried and cried upon seeing the teacher who is a foreigner with gold hair. Why ah? I dont understand. And he seems to have some issues with listening to my instructions."

I was shocked.

To me, the first thought that came into my mind was, i have already spoken to the Principal on the issues and problems that you may face, i asked her if i needed to talk to you, she says its ok she will do so herself. Now it seems you 2 have not communicated at all with each other!! And secondly, as a teacher, you know that there will be a child with special needs in the case of autism in your class for the new term, after work, google and read up on children with an autism condition to know how to handle la right???? See how different are they from normal average kids isnt it????? I dont need you to study everyday on how this condition comes about or what but just a brief reading on their characteristics and you will know why they behave like that la!!!! Its like, you are working with children, preschoolers, you must know how to work with them so you can teach them! It doesnt have to be a child with special needs to push you to do this, just being a teacher you have to walk into the "kid's world" and speak their language so you can work with them smoothly isnt it? And now you have a child with special needs you dont bother to find out??? If children with special needs like autism is like you working with an average kid so easy then why must there be a term called autism? or kids with special needs? OMG!!!!

But, i didnt tell her all these. I told her nicely why zyon reacts the way he is and went home to write down briefly about the characteristics on children with autism. I dont know if she's read it or not but as a parent i have done my part in the explaining and noting down for your knowledge.

This morning, becos it was still very early, i was outside the assembly hall singing songs with zyon before he goes into the hall. The Principal came in throught the school gate. She saw me and zyon, dont bother to say anything and wanted to just walk pass, then i looked at her and said "good morning" and smiled. Then she repled "good morning". When she sees other parents, she says "hi! good morning" in a way that i wasnt given. What is this? Discrimination?? (you may think im being sensitive, but hey i have observed her a week cos i see her everyday)

When its finally time, i brought zyon to the hall and went to the other side to peep at how he was doing and how his teacher is handling him. I couldnt hear what they were talking to him about but because he wouldnt sit down and wait, he walked around. Different teachers went to him and got him to sit down but then he will stand up again and wants to walk to his classroom. Until his class teacher stood up and went to him. Before all these, she was happily having a conversation wth the rest of the students and she didnt talk to zyon. Then when she went to him, she held his hand and walked back to the sitting area and told zyon to sit down. But again he stood up after a while and this went on for 3 times. Her facial expression was straight, no smiles not nothing. Just straight. Then when zyon's classsmates gradually arrived and walked in, her smiles came back on them and said "good morning". As a parent, i feel its like handling my child is a chore is it? What is wrong with you????

Zyon's strength is his "being able to understand whats going on". Its just he isnt able to express. If you are genuinely nice to him, he will listen to you. Its been like this towards doctors, psychologists, relatives and my friends. So what does this tell you??? Is there no teachers who teaches with passion anymore in singapore?

The ache in my heart for my child... it never goes away...

Will it ever go away?

1st day of school

School started on the 2nd of jan this year!!!!! Zy's been going to school for the past 3 days~
School starts at 8.45am and i started getting zy to wake up at 7am to get ready, but he couldnt haha my little lazy bom bom. Finally i managed to get him to open his mouth for milk at 7.30am!! When he finally finished, it was time to get dressed and stuff, and he was awake!!

Initially my plan was to get him dressed and we could leave at 8am and we will have time for me to walk him to school since its quite near our place, but the sky looked really dangerous  (rain may come any moment) so i thought maybe we should just take the bus then. As soon as we reached the bus stop of his school, true enough it started pouring. Thank goodness we were already there!! phew!!

Day 1!! Parents were supposed to follow the kids for the whole session (2hrs) for the first week, and of cos i went with zyon and zonya was in my toddler carrier the whole time. You must be thinking y i didnt bring the pram right?? haha!! BECOS!!!! It was raining... so i took the bus instead of my original plan of walking to school with the pram~ lalalalala okok when we first got to the school, there were so many parents and children around, wow... i was very excited. Then a teacher came over and asked what class does zyon belong to? So i told her that i wasnt told when i registered him , but i do know which is his classroom so she told me to bring him there. When i got there, another teacher came along and asked what is he name of my child and i told her then officially zyon just walked in sat down and started playing his toys. So experienced lor... lol...

Zonya seeing her brother playing toys with so many other children she started struggling her legs wanting to come donw and play together then i kept telling her no, this is not a playground, "kor kor" is in school now.... but the little one wouldnt give in. Then the class teacher started talking to the little kiddos about what they were supposed to do and did a simple orientation for the kiddos. They were showed around the school and told which is the place for sports, which is the room for which activity and where the toilet is. Zy refused to hold on to the loop that they were supposed to hold on to and kept getting distracted along the way.. the teachers were patient enough to guide him :) When we were back in the classroom, his teacher then said to keep all the toys and take a sit on the floor infront of the black board. Ah ha, then zyzy refuse to keep the toys that he find so interesting (dinosaur figurines) and started throwing his tantrums refusing to keep the toys. And refusing to let go. o...k...... so i walked over and told him zy, pls keep the toys and take a sit. i said it 3 times and he continued to refuse, so i took it and put the toys back. Of cos he cried and cried. Then i held his hand and said ok, lets take a sit like everybody else. He fllowed me and took his seat but of cos it was beside me la... lol
The teacher then started saying , "ok children, see this area with many books? you can put ur name tags that i have here (she show them the name tags attached with velcro) and stick them here and u can choose the books that u want and take a seat on the sofa here (pointing to the reading area) to read them. But put them back nicely ok? Its the same with the rest of the playing areas, and we will be putting up an art area here as well for paintings and crafts". I was "wow" i like it :D Then she started story telling , zy isnt into story tellng becos he is not able to sit down quietly and listen attentively so it was hard to try to make him sit down.. very soon 2 hrs was up and it was time to go home, so i thanked the teacher and told zyon it was time to go, and he was happy waving goodbye to everyone and high 5ing the teachers. OK, so that was 1st day.

I will update 2nd day soon!!! have to go tend the kids now!! LOL Chao!!

the "all-so-familiar" ache in my heart

Just when i thought things were looking good and progressing, i havent worried so much and forgotten about my pain, i saw zyon doing something that brought tears back to me.

He was at my mum's dressing table, where there are bottles and bottles of skincare, lining them up nicely side by side.... i was so down when i saw him doing that.... for that was the first sign of his autism that i knew of when he was barely 2.. and recently he started having an issue with the lift at our storey. He must make sure the lift door closes before he head home or on our way out.

Zyon was never about routines even when i knew about his condition. He was different. No routines was set up by him or whatsoever. But suddenly he decided to claim the "lift" as his territory.

the door must be closed

 

 

Its times like this i feel i cant wait to send him for his early intervention, but i have to wait because the center hasnt contacted me yet for anything... waiting is something that i hate.....

 

Then i brought him out to the bookstore, he threw a huge tantrum cos he was tired. He laid on the floor and cried so hard that everyone in the store turned to look at him, because i was paying at the cashier, i just walked over and held out my hand, he took it and stood up then stopped. People were behind me "oohhing and aahhing" , then i turned and look at them, they gave me a weird look and i just walked away.

 

 To me is you dont know me, you dont know my son, dont give us judgmental stares. Save them for your own family members. Thank you.

 

 

 

 



bye 2012... hi 2013!

We've been back for awhile now and even though bringing 2 kids out all by myself is difficult,  i have to do it. I cant be locking ourselves up in the house 24/7 right? So i brought the kids to take the public transport! It was really fun and because zyon is 3 yrs old now i wasnt sure if he needed to pay his fare for the transport so i brought him to enquire. The station officer was telling me to measure his height by the little cardboard stand to see if he is over 0.9m, and if he is, then yes he will have to get an ezlink card! Of course zyon is over 0.9m!!!!

Its SOOOOOO CUTE!!! I know its abit over hahaha but my son has his own ezlink card makes me so happy!!! he is all grown up! And his fare was 35cents!! LOL

Taking the MRT was really a new experience for them cos we usually drive and the other alternative was just the taxi. Now that they get a chance to try the public transport, they were super excited!

Now that 2012 is almost coming to an end, 2013 is just around the corner. Now i am really just looking forward to him going to his new school and new environment. Im not sure how well he can adapt but im hoping for the best!!! 

Got zyon a new schoolbag. Because his new school is about half an hour walk from our house so i thought that hey maybe we could walk to school every morning as a for of exercise? And we can "talk" along the way, so a good backpack with good back support is important for my growing child :) okok this only applies to me, so it doesnt mean im asking parents who are reading this to get it ok? haha its just me. lol


These days i have been really caught up with the kids and the stuffs that we need so i havent really been blogging, but i will update soon about progress and other issues!!

we are going to the zoo zoo zoo, how about u?

Its only been days since we've moved back, and we thought of bringing the kids to the place where all kids will 'woo' and 'wah'. The Zoo!

Ok it all began when my mom and i brought the kids out for a walk and do a little shopping at the heartland malls, then we passed by this shop selling stuffed animals. Its the kind u will find in the shops selling in the Zoo. Looked really real...

Zyon and zonya stood outside the shop for the longest time refusing to leave and seeing them getting so excited about these 'fake' animals, mom and i decided we should just go to the zoo! They will be even happier! So we rushed home in a taxi and got ready all that we need, off we go to the Zoo.

When we arrived, mom thought maybe we should grab a bite first before going in, so we stopped for KFC outside and was munching halfway, the rain started to pour... i mean really POUR. We were disappointed that we rushed and came all the way only to eat KFC..... then go home. Stupid right? Then mom said "lets not waste the trp, we'll just go in and see how it goes, maybe the rain might stop". So we bought the tickets and went in. Because iit was raining so we just went into the shop first to let the kids see the different stuffed toy animals. Zyon was so excited!!!! Walking here and there, taking one stuffed animal and walking to another, thinking which is better, put one back and take a new one over and over again. Suddenly, the exit of the shop was filled with people wearing yellow, orange and green. I was thinking 'huh why?' Then i realised 'oh.... its raincoats... selling in the shop for visitors to proceed their little adventures in the zoo with their kids'. ...Me and mom then went over and got the raincoats as well. Zonya fell asleep in my toddler carrier so we shared one raincoat, mom got one and my little zyzy got one kids size too!!!! SO CUTE..... When we put on the raincoat for zyzy.... he started screaming. Tears were rolling down his little cheeks and he cried and cried!! I started laughing! Laughing out loud becos he was just TOO CUTE! He didnt like the raincoat and he's never went into the rain before so he was uncomfortable until i showed him that 'look baby, everyone is wearing the same thing'! He stopped. He started looking around and we proceeded to look at the animals. Because the raincoat was quite hard and stiff in material, zyzy started walking around like a scarecrow! CUTE TO THE MAX! We started laughing at how cute he was and he started thinking everything was ok. Soon he was too busy looking at the animals around.

Soon Zonya was up too and we were at the baboons area, both kids were so excited sticking their face onto the glass pane and saying "woo woo ahh ahh" me and mum laughed so hard!! It was so funny! We then went to the rest area cos the rain just wont stop and decided forget it , lets just go home. The raincoat was making us warm and sweaty and the rain just wont stop, without any form of breeze the humidity was a silent killer!! We slowly walked back out, now me carrying zyon because he was so tired after walking so much and mum carried zonya. We were 'half dead" by the time we reached the exit!! Then we saw that u could actually rent a stroller for the kids! Mum was like "we are so stupid" and laughed.

Waited for the taxi and went home, the kids were too tired and went snoring away... It was a fun experience even though we didnt really went round the zoo.....

Know what? I WILL DO IT AGAIN. ROTFL!!!!!

tsk, so rude.

hey there! Just moved house and currently still trying to settle down hence havent been blogging for like the longest time....

ok, the reason why we moved was because zyon has to go for therapies and early intervention programs so we decided to relocate back and move in with my mother first. Getting a house now is quite impossible because of the fnances thats gonna incur.. so here we are living in my mother's house and trying very hard to stay by her rules.... plah!

The other day, i attended a workshop put together by the hospital for us parents, it was a 4 and a half hour workshop. I felt...... at the end of the day was a waste of time. Im really happy that a workshop was organized for us parents to know more about the early intervention programs and stuffs but what the people were saying to us were really just written on the notes that  they handed out. Its like reading out to me what is written on the notes thats all. I mean before they were saying anything i have already read the notes and understooded the steps. So is like "hey the notes is really useful and provided lots of information for me. Thanks ah!!!" but the reading out was.... "its ok, i can read. thanks" So i was more looking forward to the parent support section which is supposed to be held as the last segment.

I was early when i reached, I guess i was about half an hour earlier. Mainly becos i have no idea where the exact location of the seminar room was so i thought maybe going there earlier will give me ample time to find the seminar room and not be late for the workshop. And yep i was the first to be there.

Gradually more and more seats were filled up. A lady then came in and brought along her 70 yrs old looking mother and 16/17 years old looking son and daughter. The social workers looked like they were also embarrassed about asking her why she brought her 'whole' family... And you know whats worse? There werent even enough seats for the other parents who came alone or just with their spouse!!!! Tsk.... rude right? Never mind, the worse thing was the seminar was supposed to start at 1.45pm sharp, and people were as late as 2.15pm!!!!! The social workers then had to apologize to us (the people who came early or on time). I was thinking the people who should really apologize are the late comers isnt it? So rude! walked in even though they were late, not a smile, no apologies, and their expression was like "what?" like as though we owed them and is wasting their time. I especially hate people with such attitude. The clock ticked and at 2.30pm, the social workers decided to start the workshop and proceed although there were 3 more couples that were supposed to be there.  They handed out the notes and stuffs and started explaining the procedures, what is next , who would call how should we choose etc etc.. Ok, all the information was already on the hand out. "Thanks for reading it out to me". I then asked a question and they refered me to the relevant page in the handout with the answer to my question printed on it. "so sorry i must be blind" .

3pm!!!!!!!!! another couple stepped in!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE....... why is people so rude? or they cant tell the time? no 'sorries', no smile!!!!! OMG!!!!!! NO MANNERS.

Anyways and so it continued..... until 3.30pm there was a break for half an hour, 'to be back at 4' they say. I went to the ladies, grabbed a sandwich cos  was practically on the verge of fainting due to starvation!!!!! pplah! And made it back on time at 3.55pm. Abit more reading on the information here and there, questions like "anymore questions?" The room was quiet, nobody said anything, i looked around, nobody was shaking their heads either, for the whole session, 1 father sitting in front of me was playing with his iphone the entire session, (i didnt mean to look over but there he was just right infront facing me) another behind me playing his iphone too the entire time (i know becos while waiting for them to set up com and answering other ppl's questions or break time i look around and there it is. That iphone man behind me) I was appalled. It was like "hey, this is about your child's future, how can u ignore whatever information there is or have the tendency to at least respect the speaker as a human being using her time to explain to morons like u, just put the darn phone into your pockets and sleep with ur eyes open! Its more courteous!!" BUT Nope, they were happily "touching" their screen. ~losers~ (i hate the games function in phones)

Finally, the last segment came since nobody has any questions at all for the speakers, we were split to 2 groups. We were supposed to introduce ourselves and about ou child, what problems they are facing and what problems we are facing as parents. One by one people started to speak. Ok, i made a promise that we are not supposed to reveal what we discussed or heard in the "support group" so i shant type out anything here. All i can say was i didnt cry at all. When did i stop crying? I cant remember. All i know is i've moved on. And as a parent, i must tell myself i dont have a right to cry. What i have to focus on is forward, not look back and cry.

I was really looking forward to this parent support group and thought that maybe i could make a couple of new friends and bring our kids for a playdate together but, hm............. after the social worker said "alright, thats it for today", everyone just turned and took their bags, out they went and never looked back. It was like after they poured out whatever they wanted to say and cried, they walked out of that semimar room as a whole new different person. I was like "huh??!! thats it???" And before i could think of which way to go, people just walked past me and i was all alone standing there. "HUH?"

Ok.................... so much for asking for support or helping each other move forward.

In the room everyone was nice, out the door and hey i dont know u.

Seriously, people need to be friendlier, the world would be a much better place man...