Its a brand new year. 2016, the year of Zyon.

To the readers that have been following my blog on Autism and progress of my son, i apologise, I haven't been blogging on the updates of my baby boy for quite a while now and yes i am ashamed of myself.

Life has been hectic and i have been lost for quite a while. Lost in my own world, working and running away from problems. Again, i am ashamed of myself, but my self awareness tells me, I'm just human. So kindly pardon me. And pardon yourself.

For the past 1 year, Zyon has been attending classes in AWWA. A special school for children with special needs in Singapore if you don't know what that meant, the full name of it would be Asian Women's Welfare Association.
This (may i say) Institution actually caters for children with all kinds of special needs and not just solely on autism. And like what i have mentioned previously in my earlier blogs, Zyon had to go for the EIPIC program, AWWA was where he was supposed to be stationed at until he reaches the age of 7. Which by the way is this year :)

I must say my son has progressed a lot through his years in AWWA, or rather the EIPIC program and I'm seriously grateful to all the teachers that have helped him along the way. He graduated from his preschool Maris Stella Kindergarten and things have been going on as normal. Although I'm not really sure if he misses Maris Stella, because no matter what, he had been going to the school for the past 4 years. Preschool, the foundation of life and society. Its technically the first place in your life where you get to come in contact with people that has got nothing to do with your family in any way possible, do things that you didn't have to to compromise the fact that this world is home to other people other than yours too. So I'm guessing... nah probably Zyon is happy not going to school. Haha

Currently, even though the new year has begun and every child starts a new school term, Zyon is still attending AWWA. Well like what i have mentioned, AWWA is only able to take him till he reaches 7 so technically he wasn't supposed to be in AWWA anymore. However, the special school that we had picked would not be available for his enrolment until April this year and he had no other schools to attend, so he was placed in one of the classes in AWWA to continue brushing up his motor skills and such until his new school was ready for him.
If i did remember correctly, i actually blogged about the schools i had placed into consideration previously in my earlier posts. Those were Pathlight and St Andrews Autism school. And I'm pretty sure i did mention on why i decided that i did not want him to be placed into Pathlight as much as i thought its really a haven made for every autistic child.
Yep, St Andrews was my ultimate choice and AWWA worked with me to get him a place in the school. I can't tell you how excited i was when AWWA told me that it shouldn't be a problem for zyon to get a place in the school and that they would send a recommendation letter with all the relevant documents that was required. They have been such great help to me.

Anyways, all these happened last year and they told me that i would only get an interview with the school in Jan 2016. So Zyon had an exceptionally long holiday that started in mid november. January came and true enough we got the notification call from St Andrews Autism school notifying us that the interview to see zyon would be on the 15th of february at 2pm. I felt so nervous and excited at the same time. First and foremost, i hadn't been to the school before and i have no idea what inside looks like, was it going to be like Pathlight? Was it going to be like any other normal school? Was it going to be like AWWA? Which would it be?
And i just went on counting down each day with the same questions repeating over and over again in my mind.

Finally, the day came. Thank goodness i didn't push myself to insanity by all these questions going on in my head.
We went for lunch and went to the school. I told zyon as we walked into the premises that this was a new school for him. Then proceeded to meet up with the staff of the school, they needed to evaluate Zyon. We were then told that he had to spend probably and hour and a half with one of the teacher and as parents we were going to be interviewed by another.
The interview was about Zyon's behaviours at home and getting to know him better through the mouth of his parents, and yes, again i have to go through this. Remembering the first time when he got diagnosed, how he came to terms to new environments, his tantrums and such etc etc.

After the interview, i went to look around the school, the classes, cafeteria and pool. They have all kinds of therapies and it seemed really decent. Its not exactly as heaven like as Pathlight but yes its decent. And its like a whole new world in there.
I was mostly comfortable in their facilities and environment, but one place in there scares me.

"The Calming Room"

Ok, when you see the words "Calming Room" , your first natural vision would be white cushioned room maybe with a comfy sofa and toys probably. But no.... when i saw the calming room, it was a squared small room with padded walls and it was grey in color. Nothing else.
Nothing. Else.

My first words were,
"it sure looks like a punishment room instead of a calming one".

It might have seemed rude but that was my first instinct as a mother.
The teacher assured me that its not a punishment room with an awkward smile and i returned one awkward smile back to her.

As we were leaving the school, i can't help but think about the "Calming Room". I mean, i know its probably such because we don't want to provoke their senses with flamboyant colors visually to stress them but really? Grey??? Even Mental institutions uses white color..... ok as a mother, i know how stressful it can be when you have to deal with a normal child's tantrums not to mention the meltdowns of a child with autism! Hence part of me was fearing it might not be that calming after all. And that in the world of Autism, "Calming" seemed like a punishment.

However, brushing all these aside, i think i wouldn't mind to let Zyon try to spend some time in this school and see if he adapts to it... I'm hoping it all turns out well and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Reading till here, last year i got an email from a lady asking me questions about autism. Here is a shout out to all of you out there, i know I'm not a doctor and I'm not exactly a professional but i sure do know about Autism. And if you are a parent that just came into contact with this genetic disorder recently and want to know more or, if you are feeling stressed up and just needed some support and having someone to talk to, you are more than welcome to email me and i will reply to you.

Lets stay strong for our children. Nobody is alone in this.
For parents who's considering medication or even some invasive electrifying brain procedures, please remember, our children are NOT sick. They don't need that. They need only your acceptance.

And most important of all, your LOVE.

My email address is : kingyomama@gmail.com

Progress n updates

Its been a while and zyon's been growing up day by day...

I've been really busy hence the delay in updating on zyon's progress. Plus everyone in the family has been taking turns in falling sick, the usual sore throat and runny nose... plah.... Oh and not to mention Chinese New Year just passed!!!! Busy like a bee..... buzzzzzzzz.

okok enough of ranting nonsense just to fill up the space while thinking how im gonna start writing this post hahahah *embarrased*

The good news is, Zyon has been really responsive but towards me the most :p now when i call out to him, i dont have to keep repeating like as though he cant seem to hear me, but he responds immediately. Running to me no matter where he is. Im so happy!!! Its like hey this is one of the things people tend to take for granted. However, lke i said , to me only.... hm....

The bad news is as he grows, i realised he is starting to have routines. Issues like his toy fell to the floor, he'll pick it up, throw it on the floor , pick it up again, throw it down, pick it up, throw it down and pick it up, then moves on with the toy finally in his hands. Or when zonya takes the toy from him, he will take my hand to gesture me to take it back from zonya, and when i got zonya to return him the toy, (which she will) then he takes it from her, return it to her and get my hand to take it from zonya. In other words he wants ME to take it from zonya and pass it back to him...

I have been waiting for Zyon's EIPIC program to start and i have specifically chosen the center where waiting time is a month's time. Thinking its really good that zyon can start early. But its almost 2 months now and nobody has informed me of anything yet. But zyon's school is doing something. HAHA. YEAH THE SCHOOL IS DOING SOMETHING.

Apparently, there is a special needs teacher in his school thats been liaising with him for a while now and she calls me from time to time to let me know about his progress in school. We've been working together rather closely now and the school is as nervous as i am in regards to the start of Zyon's EIPIC program. Finally i am more or less assured that this aint as bad as i thought. School's been quite ok and they've called, wrote and spoke to me. Lets see how it goes from here #^_^ Peace!!!!!!!!

very disappointed in teachers nowadays...

Hey, its been a while since i last updated.. been really busy lately and whatever time i have left for the day went to my bed.. haha.

ok, just came back from sending zyon to school and i am really upset so i can hold it no longer, i need to  vent it out.

Sending zyon to this kinder was a recommendation from KK Hospital. The doctor mentioned that this school can take in children diagnosed with special needs. Upon hearing this of course this school is my first and only choice!! I remember speaking to the Principal and she saw zyon herself on that day , agreeing that he met her criteria and i was so happy!

School started and its been a week.

So far i must say its too early to tell. However, im very disappointed in his teacher and today, the Principal. I send zyon to school everyday and pick him up everyday too, this will give me the opportunity to talk to zyon and remind him what he is supposed and not supposed to do. Things like "zy you must listen to the teacher and share toys with ur classmates ok, no tantrums needed alright?" Children with special needs especially Autism, they need to be constantly reminded and told so that it gets "programmed" in their mind and slowly it becomes part of their everyday life (im not sure if this works for other people but it sure works for zyon).

Patience is the no.1 key being a teacher. (correct me if im wrong) Be it being with children with special needs or an average normal student!!

On monday, his teacher told me she needed to talk to me when i went to pick zy up from school, so i said ok and waited for her. She then asked me, "he doesnt sit still when im reading the children stories and he tends to walk around, and when they were having the sports ball session, he cried and cried upon seeing the teacher who is a foreigner with gold hair. Why ah? I dont understand. And he seems to have some issues with listening to my instructions."

I was shocked.

To me, the first thought that came into my mind was, i have already spoken to the Principal on the issues and problems that you may face, i asked her if i needed to talk to you, she says its ok she will do so herself. Now it seems you 2 have not communicated at all with each other!! And secondly, as a teacher, you know that there will be a child with special needs in the case of autism in your class for the new term, after work, google and read up on children with an autism condition to know how to handle la right???? See how different are they from normal average kids isnt it????? I dont need you to study everyday on how this condition comes about or what but just a brief reading on their characteristics and you will know why they behave like that la!!!! Its like, you are working with children, preschoolers, you must know how to work with them so you can teach them! It doesnt have to be a child with special needs to push you to do this, just being a teacher you have to walk into the "kid's world" and speak their language so you can work with them smoothly isnt it? And now you have a child with special needs you dont bother to find out??? If children with special needs like autism is like you working with an average kid so easy then why must there be a term called autism? or kids with special needs? OMG!!!!

But, i didnt tell her all these. I told her nicely why zyon reacts the way he is and went home to write down briefly about the characteristics on children with autism. I dont know if she's read it or not but as a parent i have done my part in the explaining and noting down for your knowledge.

This morning, becos it was still very early, i was outside the assembly hall singing songs with zyon before he goes into the hall. The Principal came in throught the school gate. She saw me and zyon, dont bother to say anything and wanted to just walk pass, then i looked at her and said "good morning" and smiled. Then she repled "good morning". When she sees other parents, she says "hi! good morning" in a way that i wasnt given. What is this? Discrimination?? (you may think im being sensitive, but hey i have observed her a week cos i see her everyday)

When its finally time, i brought zyon to the hall and went to the other side to peep at how he was doing and how his teacher is handling him. I couldnt hear what they were talking to him about but because he wouldnt sit down and wait, he walked around. Different teachers went to him and got him to sit down but then he will stand up again and wants to walk to his classroom. Until his class teacher stood up and went to him. Before all these, she was happily having a conversation wth the rest of the students and she didnt talk to zyon. Then when she went to him, she held his hand and walked back to the sitting area and told zyon to sit down. But again he stood up after a while and this went on for 3 times. Her facial expression was straight, no smiles not nothing. Just straight. Then when zyon's classsmates gradually arrived and walked in, her smiles came back on them and said "good morning". As a parent, i feel its like handling my child is a chore is it? What is wrong with you????

Zyon's strength is his "being able to understand whats going on". Its just he isnt able to express. If you are genuinely nice to him, he will listen to you. Its been like this towards doctors, psychologists, relatives and my friends. So what does this tell you??? Is there no teachers who teaches with passion anymore in singapore?

The ache in my heart for my child... it never goes away...

Will it ever go away?

wow progress progress!!

Another week has past by!!! woo! And zyon's been making progress!

Let me first update you on zyon's meet up with the Preschool's principal.

Like i said in a few posts back about the doctor recommending a few mainstream schools that will take in and have teachers with experience handling and communicating with children diagnosed with Autism, i wrote an email enquiring and they replied saying they will be able to see me! I was thrilled! Thinking "finally"!!!
So we made the appointment.

When we reached the school, i was like "wow". Its a catholic kindergarten, huge, playground is huge, garden is huge, classrooms are HUGE. I liked the whole premise! Its very old school, no air conditioning (which i feel also good la cos air conditioning sometimes can make viruses worse as its an enclosed area). Overall its very "nature". Met up with the Principal and talked about zyon's condition. Then she asked about zyon's temperaments, and the first thing i thought of was the 'biting' issue. Because zyon is non verbal and if he was forced to do something that he doesnt want or provoked badly as he cant express himself ,he bites. But of course not the kind that makes people bleed la~~~ So the Principal said they will monitor and watch him and if he has this 'biting' issue as habit she will have to withdraw him out of the school. I thought 'ok...' i understand..
Then we went along to the next topic.

After a while she was observing zyon and was trying to interact with him. In my eyes, i could feel her being genuine. I mean you know sometimes when people play with your kids and their actions and eye contact is like 'im not interested but i have to do it to show im nice'. Its not real. But this Principal showed genuine interest and wanting to know him better. im impressed.
She asked me what my expectation was and i told her " i dont need him to have excellent academic reslts, he doesnt need to score and be number 1. All im looking at is for my son to be able to make friends with hs classmates and be happy, have a good feeling about going to school to make friends and have fun. Thats what im looking at." She said "Ah~ thats good its really good to have parents who are understanding like you, some parents tends to have expectations more than what their child can achieve and it will end up stressing the child, the parents and the teacher." I nodded "yeah i agree".

She felt that zyon was better than what she expected.

All done and we were ready to go, one of the teachers came along and said "hi! whats your name?" So i replied say "zyon" . Then she smiled and said "Hi 5!!" and put her palm out, zyon looked at her in the eye and they hi-5ved. Everyone said "oh!!!!!" in their highest pitch and said "so cute!! he looks so handsome when he smiles! etc etc" .Apparently they didnt expect my little boy to 'open up' like that. hhahahahahah it was funny la.

So school is settled.

Progress progress!!! Zyon woke up feeling happy and started dancing , singing and saying "star star star" while pointing to the glow in the dark stars i stick on his wall... i laughed. And he used to play cars by flipping them over and starts turning their wheels, now he started playting the cars like how its supposed to 'zooming' on the floor. Its good progress isnt it? haha!!! im a proud mommy!

My little boy never stops surprising me with his new "point of view" every single day. Its like every single day is a new day!

Coming to think of it, there are quotes like 'live life to the fullest, live everyday like a new day etc.."

My boy can be a good example to everyone.

He lives life everyday like a brand new day.

Again, i learnt a new meaning of life from my son :)

I can learn too!

ok..... so looking at the picture i posted up there you should know the topic that im going to write about. :)

Getting a school for a preschool child is hard, and getting the right preschool for a child diagnosed with autism is worse!!

A preschool teacher doesnt necessarily need alot of experience or qualifications to teach. That goes to say they also will not really know how to handle or communicate wth a child that is with an autism condition because they dont require that form of training. And as humans, what do you do when you have 12 kids being able to communicate with you and 1 that doesnt? Natural instincts of an average human would ignore the 1 because he or she would be too busy with the 12. And if i were to send my boy to a normal mainstream school with teachers that doesnt know how to communicate with him and leaves him alone letting him do whatever he wants so as not to distract the rest of the class (which i already have experienced a school telling me that) , then what the whole point of zyon going to school at all???? Nowadays in this society, its hard to find a teacher who teaches with passion... im lucky that zyon's previous school teacher is an angel.. she helped alot and spent alot of time on zyon one on one to guide and teach him. I must say my son has improved so much and a great part of it was thanks to her... The Teacher's role in the life of a child with autism is VERY important.

So i got zyon's doctor from the hospital to recommend me schools that are "autism - friendly" , and thank goodness there is such a term!! She gave me a list of schools whereby they have teachers who are trained to teach children diagnosed with autism and they get to interact with an average kid because it is a normal mainstream school! Let me just emphasize one important point, children who are diagnosed with autism is not of low IQ or mentally retarded. They have the thinking and thoughts of a normal child, its just the way they see through their eyes and the reaction they have towards certain issues is different.

To explain in simple words means imagine our body, our 5 senses, why do we feel , know ,see ,smell and hear? when something happens for example we get scalded, the feel the hot touches our skin, the nerves in our body sends messages to our brain. Our brain then process this as hot and pain. But for a person with autism, he or her messengers that were supposed to send these signals are not sending them correctly, its all over the place, hence their reaction towards expressing is not the same. They might not feel the pain at all. In short, people with autism recieves their signals all over the place in their brain and not like what their supposed to like an average person.

For those parents who are like me facing this "school problem" and are panicking, dont worry, check with your child's doctor for alternatives and advice. Im sure they will have the sufficient information for you.

For those parents who thinks that your child is the smartest and you wont want other children to distract your child's progress in school, pls ah , you dont own the school. Dont like it, move your child to another school ok?

remember : Autism is NOT contagious. IGNORANCE IS.
                   Autism is NOT a tragedy. IGNORANCE IS.