Its a brand new year. 2016, the year of Zyon.

To the readers that have been following my blog on Autism and progress of my son, i apologise, I haven't been blogging on the updates of my baby boy for quite a while now and yes i am ashamed of myself.

Life has been hectic and i have been lost for quite a while. Lost in my own world, working and running away from problems. Again, i am ashamed of myself, but my self awareness tells me, I'm just human. So kindly pardon me. And pardon yourself.

For the past 1 year, Zyon has been attending classes in AWWA. A special school for children with special needs in Singapore if you don't know what that meant, the full name of it would be Asian Women's Welfare Association.
This (may i say) Institution actually caters for children with all kinds of special needs and not just solely on autism. And like what i have mentioned previously in my earlier blogs, Zyon had to go for the EIPIC program, AWWA was where he was supposed to be stationed at until he reaches the age of 7. Which by the way is this year :)

I must say my son has progressed a lot through his years in AWWA, or rather the EIPIC program and I'm seriously grateful to all the teachers that have helped him along the way. He graduated from his preschool Maris Stella Kindergarten and things have been going on as normal. Although I'm not really sure if he misses Maris Stella, because no matter what, he had been going to the school for the past 4 years. Preschool, the foundation of life and society. Its technically the first place in your life where you get to come in contact with people that has got nothing to do with your family in any way possible, do things that you didn't have to to compromise the fact that this world is home to other people other than yours too. So I'm guessing... nah probably Zyon is happy not going to school. Haha

Currently, even though the new year has begun and every child starts a new school term, Zyon is still attending AWWA. Well like what i have mentioned, AWWA is only able to take him till he reaches 7 so technically he wasn't supposed to be in AWWA anymore. However, the special school that we had picked would not be available for his enrolment until April this year and he had no other schools to attend, so he was placed in one of the classes in AWWA to continue brushing up his motor skills and such until his new school was ready for him.
If i did remember correctly, i actually blogged about the schools i had placed into consideration previously in my earlier posts. Those were Pathlight and St Andrews Autism school. And I'm pretty sure i did mention on why i decided that i did not want him to be placed into Pathlight as much as i thought its really a haven made for every autistic child.
Yep, St Andrews was my ultimate choice and AWWA worked with me to get him a place in the school. I can't tell you how excited i was when AWWA told me that it shouldn't be a problem for zyon to get a place in the school and that they would send a recommendation letter with all the relevant documents that was required. They have been such great help to me.

Anyways, all these happened last year and they told me that i would only get an interview with the school in Jan 2016. So Zyon had an exceptionally long holiday that started in mid november. January came and true enough we got the notification call from St Andrews Autism school notifying us that the interview to see zyon would be on the 15th of february at 2pm. I felt so nervous and excited at the same time. First and foremost, i hadn't been to the school before and i have no idea what inside looks like, was it going to be like Pathlight? Was it going to be like any other normal school? Was it going to be like AWWA? Which would it be?
And i just went on counting down each day with the same questions repeating over and over again in my mind.

Finally, the day came. Thank goodness i didn't push myself to insanity by all these questions going on in my head.
We went for lunch and went to the school. I told zyon as we walked into the premises that this was a new school for him. Then proceeded to meet up with the staff of the school, they needed to evaluate Zyon. We were then told that he had to spend probably and hour and a half with one of the teacher and as parents we were going to be interviewed by another.
The interview was about Zyon's behaviours at home and getting to know him better through the mouth of his parents, and yes, again i have to go through this. Remembering the first time when he got diagnosed, how he came to terms to new environments, his tantrums and such etc etc.

After the interview, i went to look around the school, the classes, cafeteria and pool. They have all kinds of therapies and it seemed really decent. Its not exactly as heaven like as Pathlight but yes its decent. And its like a whole new world in there.
I was mostly comfortable in their facilities and environment, but one place in there scares me.

"The Calming Room"

Ok, when you see the words "Calming Room" , your first natural vision would be white cushioned room maybe with a comfy sofa and toys probably. But no.... when i saw the calming room, it was a squared small room with padded walls and it was grey in color. Nothing else.
Nothing. Else.

My first words were,
"it sure looks like a punishment room instead of a calming one".

It might have seemed rude but that was my first instinct as a mother.
The teacher assured me that its not a punishment room with an awkward smile and i returned one awkward smile back to her.

As we were leaving the school, i can't help but think about the "Calming Room". I mean, i know its probably such because we don't want to provoke their senses with flamboyant colors visually to stress them but really? Grey??? Even Mental institutions uses white color..... ok as a mother, i know how stressful it can be when you have to deal with a normal child's tantrums not to mention the meltdowns of a child with autism! Hence part of me was fearing it might not be that calming after all. And that in the world of Autism, "Calming" seemed like a punishment.

However, brushing all these aside, i think i wouldn't mind to let Zyon try to spend some time in this school and see if he adapts to it... I'm hoping it all turns out well and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Reading till here, last year i got an email from a lady asking me questions about autism. Here is a shout out to all of you out there, i know I'm not a doctor and I'm not exactly a professional but i sure do know about Autism. And if you are a parent that just came into contact with this genetic disorder recently and want to know more or, if you are feeling stressed up and just needed some support and having someone to talk to, you are more than welcome to email me and i will reply to you.

Lets stay strong for our children. Nobody is alone in this.
For parents who's considering medication or even some invasive electrifying brain procedures, please remember, our children are NOT sick. They don't need that. They need only your acceptance.

And most important of all, your LOVE.

My email address is : kingyomama@gmail.com

tsk, so rude.

hey there! Just moved house and currently still trying to settle down hence havent been blogging for like the longest time....

ok, the reason why we moved was because zyon has to go for therapies and early intervention programs so we decided to relocate back and move in with my mother first. Getting a house now is quite impossible because of the fnances thats gonna incur.. so here we are living in my mother's house and trying very hard to stay by her rules.... plah!

The other day, i attended a workshop put together by the hospital for us parents, it was a 4 and a half hour workshop. I felt...... at the end of the day was a waste of time. Im really happy that a workshop was organized for us parents to know more about the early intervention programs and stuffs but what the people were saying to us were really just written on the notes that  they handed out. Its like reading out to me what is written on the notes thats all. I mean before they were saying anything i have already read the notes and understooded the steps. So is like "hey the notes is really useful and provided lots of information for me. Thanks ah!!!" but the reading out was.... "its ok, i can read. thanks" So i was more looking forward to the parent support section which is supposed to be held as the last segment.

I was early when i reached, I guess i was about half an hour earlier. Mainly becos i have no idea where the exact location of the seminar room was so i thought maybe going there earlier will give me ample time to find the seminar room and not be late for the workshop. And yep i was the first to be there.

Gradually more and more seats were filled up. A lady then came in and brought along her 70 yrs old looking mother and 16/17 years old looking son and daughter. The social workers looked like they were also embarrassed about asking her why she brought her 'whole' family... And you know whats worse? There werent even enough seats for the other parents who came alone or just with their spouse!!!! Tsk.... rude right? Never mind, the worse thing was the seminar was supposed to start at 1.45pm sharp, and people were as late as 2.15pm!!!!! The social workers then had to apologize to us (the people who came early or on time). I was thinking the people who should really apologize are the late comers isnt it? So rude! walked in even though they were late, not a smile, no apologies, and their expression was like "what?" like as though we owed them and is wasting their time. I especially hate people with such attitude. The clock ticked and at 2.30pm, the social workers decided to start the workshop and proceed although there were 3 more couples that were supposed to be there.  They handed out the notes and stuffs and started explaining the procedures, what is next , who would call how should we choose etc etc.. Ok, all the information was already on the hand out. "Thanks for reading it out to me". I then asked a question and they refered me to the relevant page in the handout with the answer to my question printed on it. "so sorry i must be blind" .

3pm!!!!!!!!! another couple stepped in!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE....... why is people so rude? or they cant tell the time? no 'sorries', no smile!!!!! OMG!!!!!! NO MANNERS.

Anyways and so it continued..... until 3.30pm there was a break for half an hour, 'to be back at 4' they say. I went to the ladies, grabbed a sandwich cos  was practically on the verge of fainting due to starvation!!!!! pplah! And made it back on time at 3.55pm. Abit more reading on the information here and there, questions like "anymore questions?" The room was quiet, nobody said anything, i looked around, nobody was shaking their heads either, for the whole session, 1 father sitting in front of me was playing with his iphone the entire session, (i didnt mean to look over but there he was just right infront facing me) another behind me playing his iphone too the entire time (i know becos while waiting for them to set up com and answering other ppl's questions or break time i look around and there it is. That iphone man behind me) I was appalled. It was like "hey, this is about your child's future, how can u ignore whatever information there is or have the tendency to at least respect the speaker as a human being using her time to explain to morons like u, just put the darn phone into your pockets and sleep with ur eyes open! Its more courteous!!" BUT Nope, they were happily "touching" their screen. ~losers~ (i hate the games function in phones)

Finally, the last segment came since nobody has any questions at all for the speakers, we were split to 2 groups. We were supposed to introduce ourselves and about ou child, what problems they are facing and what problems we are facing as parents. One by one people started to speak. Ok, i made a promise that we are not supposed to reveal what we discussed or heard in the "support group" so i shant type out anything here. All i can say was i didnt cry at all. When did i stop crying? I cant remember. All i know is i've moved on. And as a parent, i must tell myself i dont have a right to cry. What i have to focus on is forward, not look back and cry.

I was really looking forward to this parent support group and thought that maybe i could make a couple of new friends and bring our kids for a playdate together but, hm............. after the social worker said "alright, thats it for today", everyone just turned and took their bags, out they went and never looked back. It was like after they poured out whatever they wanted to say and cried, they walked out of that semimar room as a whole new different person. I was like "huh??!! thats it???" And before i could think of which way to go, people just walked past me and i was all alone standing there. "HUH?"

Ok.................... so much for asking for support or helping each other move forward.

In the room everyone was nice, out the door and hey i dont know u.

Seriously, people need to be friendlier, the world would be a much better place man...