The day of the Appointment

Time flies and 3 months went by.

The days were smooth and nothing much or special happened, we continued our daily routine and Zy's been really learning. We practice saying the alphabets and when i ask him which is which , he was able to point them out to me. Colors and shapes, all these interest him.

As usual because of me , my kids love to go to bookstores and look at interesting books. Especially those that were published by "Disney Junior".

It was the day of our appointment at KK Hospital. I told myself "this is it, the moment of truth." We woke up as per normal so zy was off to school and i start preparing what to bring, their lunch, get ready my baby girl and myselfand we were off to pick Zy up from school to the appointment. When we reached our destination, my heart was calm... im not sure why but somehow im not as frightened as before..I've felt hopeless, shattered and cried and now in not sure if i can go through the process again.  But probably becos of the previous experience and i've found out so much so much, gotten to the fact that he is still him. Nothing's changed. My son was still my son and he is still an affectionate boy learning new things everyday.. only slower.

Stepped into the Dept of Child Development, i started to get nervous. Registered at the counter and took a sit nearby. I felt weirdly calm after looking around. There were so many children with their parents waiting for their turn to see the doctor. Getting help. I realized i've been keeping my anxiety and stress about my little boy's problems somewhere in the corner of my mind and heart and now im going to face the fact.

"dom dom dom" My heart was pounding with the all so familiar way. The fear is back when it was almost our turn to be called. I shook my head, "nothing is impossble. there will be hopes. "

The nurse took Zy's particulars and told me that a short interview would be conducted then we'll get to see the preliminary examiner. Couldnt help and i started looking around again, so many children with development issues of all kinds!! One particular child caught my attention. He laughed and laughed to himself and when i turn to look at his parents, they were in a mess. His mother's eyes were red from crying and his father was like had a shock but tryng to reamin composed. Come to think of it, this was what me and my husband looked like a few months back. I could totally feel their pain, their inner hearts screaming and asking the same questions that i've asked a million times.

Finally, the psychologist called Zy's name. We stepped into a room with butterflies on walls and rubber flowers around , a red mat on the floor with toy trains and train tracks. The psychologist told us o take a seat and that Zy can play on the red mat with the toys there, so i told my little boy

"you can go over there to play darling"

Zy then smiled and insists to take off his shoes. Maybe he felt like in school, it was necessary. He placed his shoes neatly side by side beside my chair and went to the red mat and started playing on his own. The interviewer went on to ask me some basic questions about his behaviour and reactions in regards to certain issues and also what he can or cannot do to understand more on zy's development against the avergae milestone as per his peers. As i answered her questions, i felt that im trying so hard to recall even the smallest detail so as to justify, still trying hard to convince myself that it might just prove that my son is fine, its just that he is still young. My subconscious was really trying very hard. After the brief interview , we were then told to wait outside for the nurses to call our names again to check on zy's health. Just a few questions.

We were waiting in the waiting area again and another boy caught my attention. He was screaming and screaming and screaming. Then he bit himself on his arm and when his parents wanted to stop him, he bit them as well. Suddenly it occured to me, "hey, im not alone. im not the only parent facing this challenge. Many out there are struggling as hard as i am and their kids are struggling as hard as they can to be accepted into this society."

When the examiner called our name, soehow i felt that Zy knows why we're there. I dont know if its just me being sensitive, but she's not looking at my son like a child. Rather she is looking at my baby as though he is a 'thing' she is experimenting / researching on. She tried to play with Zy and talk to him but the way she was doing it was wrong. It was a wrong approach. I guessed that she isnt a mother yet. Whatever it is, Zy completely IGNORED her. Treated like she was invisible! Zy used to ignore people but that was a year ago since he last ignored people like that. He looked at what she was holding but simply completely not look at her face! Thus she couldnt get a response out of him. Zy's been really nice to his teachers in school, to all my relatives, all his father's relatives and even the strangers on the road when they say hi, but now that we're here for an assessment, he ignored the lady..... oh my goodness..............

Of cos immediately she thinks my son has a problem and yes is autistic and blah blah blah. The next thing i know she 'labelled' my son with autism. I tried real hard ot explain that he isnt like that, i mean come on, he is my son i think i know him better than someone who just met him for 20 mins isnt it??? but she didnt give me a chance and kept on writing her evaluation on her 'newly labeled research'.

I wanted to walk out of the office then she told me something that made me stop.

"I would also suggest a hearing test actually, It would not be a case of deafness but there is also a possibility that he cant hear certain frequencies and thus sometimes apears to be deaf. Television is mono toned hence everyone can hear it but human voice is different, nobody says the same things with the same tone. He could be suffering from that instead. Mainly because he is still young so we still cant confirm on autism. He will be checked on by our group of professionals on Autism, i will arrange an appt for that and a hearing test if its ok for you."

OF COS ITS OK!!!!!!!! I WAS THRILLED TO HEAR THAT!!! I mean if its really a case of hearing a hearing aid or a minor operation will help my son and he'll be able to live life as any other average kid! But then again if its really autism, at least now as a mother i will know exactly how i can help my son.

Suddenly, i realized my son was never really bothered by thunder since he was a baby... not once did he ever get shocked by the roaring of thunder when it rains. NOT ONCE. Then could it really be a heariing problem?? My heart desperately hoping its a hearing problem.

After we're done, i asked Zy "darling u wanna go to the toilet?"

He pulled his pants indicating "yes"

When we finally left the hospital i thought to myself , 'im only gonna know the outcome in december so i shant stress about it now.... we'll just focus on other stuffs and lead life as per normal'.

Zy would be performing in his school year end concert dancing the 'chicken dance' and his 3rd birthday would be around the corner ...lets just get pass it then ..

God, please bless zy...                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Autism is not retarded ii

Regressive Autism

*Regressive autism occurs when a child appears to develop typically but then starts to lose speech and social skills, typically between the ages of 15 and 30 months, and is subsequently diagnosed with autism. Other terms used to describe regression in children with autism are autism with regression, autistic regression, setback-type autism, and acquired autistic syndrome.There is no standard definition for regression, and the prevalence of regression varies depending on the definition used.^[3] Some children show a mixture of features, with some early delays and some later losses; and there is evidence of a continuous spectrum of behaviors, rather than a black-and-white distinction, between autism with and without regression.


Gluten free diet
* A gluten-free diet is a diet that excludes foods containing gluten. Gluten is a protein found in wheat (including kamut and spelt), barley, rye, malts and triticale. It is used as a food addictive in the form of a flavoring, stabilizing or thickening agent, often as "dextrin". A gluten-free diet is the only medically accepted treatment for celiac disease, the related condition dermatitis herpetiformis, and wheat allergy.


Some idea of self help at home:-

Holding therapy
* when a child and mother cuddles and begins eye contact, his development would proceed normally.

Good for the child to be stress free, do not force the child in terms of anything.

Vigorous exercise helps the child gain control of their bodies , sleep better and leads to self stimulatin behaviour.
- places like the playground, beach or park for the child to run and have fun is good enough.

Speech therapy
Occupational therapy
Music therapy
Technology / computer programs

Family - IMPORTANT to teach siblings on interact

Do not isolate you or your child, you need to be surrounded by family and friends to improve interaction

Parents must learn to :-
*Get over caring about what other people think
*your child is here to stay, he needs your support
*Keep your sense of humour, take time to laugh

BE POSITIVE

Teach basic communication, it'll help the frustration.

No matter how bad the situation or behaviour, there is always a solution

i do take care of my sister too

I was clearing out some stuffs and i realised my kids are extremely quiet at this moment, something is not right. I turned and saw that my baby girl just sneezed and there were mucus dripping out of her nose, Zy was cleaning for her using a cloth! My baby boy cleaning his sister's nose for her!! And she just stared at him. That scene just melted my heart totally~

Zy brought home a goodie bag fro school with lots of sweets and biscuits, and i opened the bag for him to choose which he wanted to eat. He chose the bisuits. While eating, little glutton sister came toward him and said something in baby language. Upon seeing this , he gave his baby sister the biscuit! It was such a heart warming scene.......

My baby boy is a big brother now...

Life is full of hopes

Brought zy for his speech therapy session and i told his therapist about the result of his autism evaluation. The therapist gave me a shocked look and asked me where did i bring zy to for the assessment? So i told her the name of the center and immediately she gave me a dull look. I continued to tell her what the therapist told me in regards to how zy is not having mild autism but severe. The speeech therapist couldnt hear anymore and she stopped me saying "she tells that to everyone who goes there for evaluation. And they dont even provide occuptaional therapys!!!!"

I was shocked. Mainly because that lady sounded to real and she told me they had occuaptional therapy facilities in their center. then the speech therapist continued to say,

"they dont have occupational therapy there, its just that they know how occupational therapy is being done and they just do it without knowing what they are doing!!"

MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!! And i nearly sent my son there!!!!!! so what does this mean? My baby boy is not autistic? wrongly diagnosed just becos they wanted to earn my money?????????? What the hell~

So i decided to listen to my speech therapist and called zy's pd in regards to the matter. The PD said immediately,

"what nonsense??? He is fine!!!!!! even if he is autistic is really at the very borderline!! def not severe!!!!! and he doesnt need to change his diet! no no no no. I would suggest occupational therapy thats all"

PRAISE GOD!!!

I was happy!!! and mad!!!!!! Happy because my son is not what she claimed to be and im so mad at her lies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats it! i had enough!!!! Im tired! Im lost because i dont know to who i should listen to!! I brought zy immediately to a polyclinic to get a referal letter to see the doctors at the govt hospital just for kids. When we finally saw the dotor at the polyclinic after waiting for the whole morning, he looked at my son and said "I dont think he is autistic at all. Look at his eye contact and response to me, its very good"

My tears welled up! i was ecstatic! However to clear all my doubts and worries i decided i will send him to the hospital anyway. And so an appt was fixed for 3 months later.

good response

I started teaching Zy to take his bath towel and put his dirty clothes into the laundry basket. And after for about 1 day, he picked it up.

"take your towel for bath baby~"
and he ran straight to room took his bath towel and ran out to me.

"now put your clothes into the laundry basket pls"
and he put them in.

He had a very good response today in terms of me calling him. i would rate a 9/10 :)

Good improvement.

wrongly diagnosed with autism???? im beginning to think its true.

i have a sister

On a saturday, Zy woke up early and wanted to watch some tv, so as i was doing my chores i left he and my baby girl in the living room. Because i was cleaning the room i closed the door just in case my little girl comes in and steps on the dust on the floor. Yeah, she wanted to come into the room and so she started screaming at the door wanting me to open it. i decided to ignore and wait becos i was almost done!! but before i could do anything, zy stood up and opened the door for his baby sister and went back to the couch to catch his programmes....... i was ........ (-_-"')  but hey! he actually stood up to open the door for his sister because she wated to but couldnt!!!! i was shocked!

Then when he was having breakfast with me , he stood up suddenly , went to the fridge, opened the door and took out a botlle of water and gestured for me to open it. So i did, he drank a few mouthfuls of water and gave it back to me so i thought why not teach him how to open the bottle, so i showed him twice and he picked it up! i was shocked again!

How fast kids learn!!!

focus

There was a day when zy woke up grumbling something that i couldnt understand and walked out to the living room. First thing was he looked at me, so i said "hi~" , he smiled widely and we hugged. Everything was as per normal and he headed to school till it was time to pick him up.

I usually get my husband's worker to give me a lift to pick zy up and its been going on for at least a month now every weekday and he already got used to sitting in "uncle's car" . That day when we went to pick him up , because i was talking to his teacher so uncle carried him back to the car first and zy started screaming. He screamed and screamed and screamed so i told him "zy baby focus". i said these 3 words for about 5 mins and he just got louder, so i thought i have to be louder than his screaming so i went louder "focus baby focus!!!" He was still throwing his tantrums after we got home and i wanted to give him a shower but he refused. So without a choice i carried him into the bathroom and he was still screaming refusing to take off his clothes, so i carried him tightly and counted 1 to 30 over and over again. again and again. until about 10 to 15 mins later i put him down and took off his clothes and carried him while bathing for him, which means yeah i was wet with my clothes on with all the soap and water. when i was almost done , he calmed down FINALLY.... after washing off the foam from his body i brought him to the room to put on his clothes and he started crying.. so i said "zy, you wanna watch youtube? mommy on it for you?" so i brought him to sit infront of the computer and switched on the youtube channels with nursery rhymes for him. He finally stopped crying.

Till he woke up from his noon nap, he came over to me, put his palms against my cheeks and tilt it left and right (his usual way of saying "mommy be happy) and suddenly stopped and kissed me on my lips... i was gonna melt!!

he is a very affectionate boy. And through his response, i feel somehow he was misdiagnosed with autism.... is he?