to spank or not to spank?

Its been 2 weeks since the start of school holidays... and i have been pretty caught up with 2 little ones running here and there ransacking my stuffs, pouring toys out from the toybox and buckets, crying and fighting because of the toys...etc. Not that they dont do that when the holiday hasnt started.. but its worse since they have a whole day with each other now!! Fights even occur because of who gets to shower first!!! Oh my goodness..... who the heck started school holidays man!!!

And today, zyon started showing signs of him missing school... hahaha he took his schoolbag and placed it on the floor just staring at it. And he looked like he was thinking "hey, why am i not in school??" hahahah it was a classic look! 

Of cos i enjoy my kids with me the whole day but hey.. im only human and 2 at the same time sometimes drive me abit crazy!! lol! So, they were fighting again like every other day and today was quite bad. Snatching a small ping pong ball, zyon lost the ball to his baby sister and he got really mad, so he bit her really hard and zonya screamed so badly.... so i pulled zyon to me and said "mommy said no biting darling why dont u listen? Its wrong to bite! we must love each other and share! no fighting!!" And of cos i said the same thing to zonya.

I feel that as parents, we must always teach and remind the children to love each other and when 1 of them shows the wrong behaviour and actions, both of them would get punished. Thats my way of teaching. Some may not agree but hey haha its my kids so.... haha my way! LOL

So when zyon does something wrong and i punish him, i will say firmly to zonya that she musnt do the same thing and what is the consequence if she does it. When zonya does something wrong, i will say firmly to zyon that he musnt do the same and what the consequence is if he does it. And punishment will be the same. When they start fighting i will be like a spoiled radio saying "share! no fighting" over and over again. And if they dont stop, they both get punished. And of cos i scold.

I know theres been alot of reports about how you shouldnt scold or spank your kids as this will make them have depression, hurt their feelings whatsoever, but hey unless you are a parent yourself looking after your kids 24/7, you have no right to judge how other parents discipline their child. Having a helper/ maid in the house to help around be it with the children or the chores is always easier than doing it all by yourself... this is a fact. So if you are one of those parents who think that "hey you shouldnt scold, shouldnt spank its wrong...etc" then pls stop reading this. I dont need you to judge me.

I strongly believe, spare the rod , spoil the child. First, im a chinese. And my culture is different from foreigners. Of cos my scolding and spanking is not abuse.. if i scold, it will mean the tone of my voice is higher and louder. And if i spank it will mean i spank their butt because there is diaper, or ffor zyon's case i control the level of strength. I smack their hands too. And times when they have gone overboard i will use the cane. But i have only used the cane once on zyon's leg. That was it. The rest of the time i just hold it on my hand and becos of the first experience, he knows its painful he does things and follow instructions immediately. And you see my kids love me because even though i spank, they know i genuinely love them with all my heart and soul. I didnt create "monster mommy" in their lives, and they certainly are very attached to me with hugs and kisses. And just because zyon has a condition, i dont see why i shouldnt treat him like any nomal average kid. No differences and excuses would be given when it comes to behaviour and besides most of the time zyon is doing a good job, and i have given him alot of space before stepping in.

We teach with love, not drown the child with love.

I am a parent and of cos mommies like me likes to join those forums to talk about our kids and ask for advice and stuffs, i have seen how some mothers judging other mothers. They say things like "you shouldnt do this, you should ......... you shouldnt scold/yell/scream, you should..... you shouldnt spank, this is abuse..... " HELLO........ pls, if you are not a stay at home mom with no help then pls keep your opinions or judging to yourself. Mommies goes to forum and talk about the problems they are facing and destress to remind them that they are not alone, not for you to start lecturing them and whats worse, they dont even know you!

Some "experts" on children will tell you, if you spank your kids, they will learn and think that only violence will resolve the problem so they start going to school hitting other kids. Its not wong. Whats really crucial is, when you spank your child , pls dont forget to explain why you did that. And of cos i dont mean everytime your child does something wrong you should spank him or her, you must explain first, and if its not accepted, (im talking about kids 2 yrs - 6 years) he or she still dont listen then firm, (in my case i scold) and its still not accepted, then spank.  When they are of age whereby they can start explaining their reasons and actions, better!!!!! i dont think you even need to raise your voice anymore!! (when is it gonna be my turn??)

Im not afraid to admit, yes, i do spank my kids when necessary.To the parents who have been judged on the way you are teaching your own child ,as long as you are not abusing the child, dun be too affected about what ignorant people are saying about you. You are def doing a good job as a parent, dont doubt yourself.  To all the people who like to judge, i dont care about your opinion so........ run along now *shoo*

cheers!!