Time flies and 3 months went by.
The days were smooth and nothing much or special happened, we continued our daily routine and Zy's been really learning. We practice saying the alphabets and when i ask him which is which , he was able to point them out to me. Colors and shapes, all these interest him.
As usual because of me , my kids love to go to bookstores and look at interesting books. Especially those that were published by "Disney Junior".
It was the day of our appointment at KK Hospital. I told myself "this is it, the moment of truth." We woke up as per normal so zy was off to school and i start preparing what to bring, their lunch, get ready my baby girl and myselfand we were off to pick Zy up from school to the appointment. When we reached our destination, my heart was calm... im not sure why but somehow im not as frightened as before..I've felt hopeless, shattered and cried and now in not sure if i can go through the process again. But probably becos of the previous experience and i've found out so much so much, gotten to the fact that he is still him. Nothing's changed. My son was still my son and he is still an affectionate boy learning new things everyday.. only slower.
Stepped into the Dept of Child Development, i started to get nervous. Registered at the counter and took a sit nearby. I felt weirdly calm after looking around. There were so many children with their parents waiting for their turn to see the doctor. Getting help. I realized i've been keeping my anxiety and stress about my little boy's problems somewhere in the corner of my mind and heart and now im going to face the fact.
"dom dom dom" My heart was pounding with the all so familiar way. The fear is back when it was almost our turn to be called. I shook my head, "nothing is impossble. there will be hopes. "
The nurse took Zy's particulars and told me that a short interview would be conducted then we'll get to see the preliminary examiner. Couldnt help and i started looking around again, so many children with development issues of all kinds!! One particular child caught my attention. He laughed and laughed to himself and when i turn to look at his parents, they were in a mess. His mother's eyes were red from crying and his father was like had a shock but tryng to reamin composed. Come to think of it, this was what me and my husband looked like a few months back. I could totally feel their pain, their inner hearts screaming and asking the same questions that i've asked a million times.
Finally, the psychologist called Zy's name. We stepped into a room with butterflies on walls and rubber flowers around , a red mat on the floor with toy trains and train tracks. The psychologist told us o take a seat and that Zy can play on the red mat with the toys there, so i told my little boy
"you can go over there to play darling"
Zy then smiled and insists to take off his shoes. Maybe he felt like in school, it was necessary. He placed his shoes neatly side by side beside my chair and went to the red mat and started playing on his own. The interviewer went on to ask me some basic questions about his behaviour and reactions in regards to certain issues and also what he can or cannot do to understand more on zy's development against the avergae milestone as per his peers. As i answered her questions, i felt that im trying so hard to recall even the smallest detail so as to justify, still trying hard to convince myself that it might just prove that my son is fine, its just that he is still young. My subconscious was really trying very hard. After the brief interview , we were then told to wait outside for the nurses to call our names again to check on zy's health. Just a few questions.
We were waiting in the waiting area again and another boy caught my attention. He was screaming and screaming and screaming. Then he bit himself on his arm and when his parents wanted to stop him, he bit them as well. Suddenly it occured to me, "hey, im not alone. im not the only parent facing this challenge. Many out there are struggling as hard as i am and their kids are struggling as hard as they can to be accepted into this society."
When the examiner called our name, soehow i felt that Zy knows why we're there. I dont know if its just me being sensitive, but she's not looking at my son like a child. Rather she is looking at my baby as though he is a 'thing' she is experimenting / researching on. She tried to play with Zy and talk to him but the way she was doing it was wrong. It was a wrong approach. I guessed that she isnt a mother yet. Whatever it is, Zy completely IGNORED her. Treated like she was invisible! Zy used to ignore people but that was a year ago since he last ignored people like that. He looked at what she was holding but simply completely not look at her face! Thus she couldnt get a response out of him. Zy's been really nice to his teachers in school, to all my relatives, all his father's relatives and even the strangers on the road when they say hi, but now that we're here for an assessment, he ignored the lady..... oh my goodness..............
Of cos immediately she thinks my son has a problem and yes is autistic and blah blah blah. The next thing i know she 'labelled' my son with autism. I tried real hard ot explain that he isnt like that, i mean come on, he is my son i think i know him better than someone who just met him for 20 mins isnt it??? but she didnt give me a chance and kept on writing her evaluation on her 'newly labeled research'.
I wanted to walk out of the office then she told me something that made me stop.
"I would also suggest a hearing test actually, It would not be a case of deafness but there is also a possibility that he cant hear certain frequencies and thus sometimes apears to be deaf. Television is mono toned hence everyone can hear it but human voice is different, nobody says the same things with the same tone. He could be suffering from that instead. Mainly because he is still young so we still cant confirm on autism. He will be checked on by our group of professionals on Autism, i will arrange an appt for that and a hearing test if its ok for you."
OF COS ITS OK!!!!!!!! I WAS THRILLED TO HEAR THAT!!! I mean if its really a case of hearing a hearing aid or a minor operation will help my son and he'll be able to live life as any other average kid! But then again if its really autism, at least now as a mother i will know exactly how i can help my son.
Suddenly, i realized my son was never really bothered by thunder since he was a baby... not once did he ever get shocked by the roaring of thunder when it rains. NOT ONCE. Then could it really be a heariing problem?? My heart desperately hoping its a hearing problem.
After we're done, i asked Zy "darling u wanna go to the toilet?"
He pulled his pants indicating "yes"
When we finally left the hospital i thought to myself , 'im only gonna know the outcome in december so i shant stress about it now.... we'll just focus on other stuffs and lead life as per normal'.
Zy would be performing in his school year end concert dancing the 'chicken dance' and his 3rd birthday would be around the corner ...lets just get pass it then ..
God, please bless zy...
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
Autism is not retarded ii
Regressive Autism
*Regressive autism occurs when a child appears to develop typically but then starts to lose speech and social skills, typically between the ages of 15 and 30 months, and is subsequently diagnosed with autism. Other terms used to describe regression in children with autism are autism with regression, autistic regression, setback-type autism, and acquired autistic syndrome.There is no standard definition for regression, and the prevalence of regression varies depending on the definition used.[3] Some children show a mixture of features, with some early delays and some later losses; and there is evidence of a continuous spectrum of behaviors, rather than a black-and-white distinction, between autism with and without regression.
Gluten free diet
* A gluten-free diet is a diet that excludes foods containing gluten. Gluten is a protein found in wheat (including kamut and spelt), barley, rye, malts and triticale. It is used as a food addictive in the form of a flavoring, stabilizing or thickening agent, often as "dextrin". A gluten-free diet is the only medically accepted treatment for celiac disease, the related condition dermatitis herpetiformis, and wheat allergy.
Some idea of self help at home:-
Holding therapy
* when a child and mother cuddles and begins eye contact, his development would proceed normally.
Good for the child to be stress free, do not force the child in terms of anything.
Vigorous exercise helps the child gain control of their bodies , sleep better and leads to self stimulatin behaviour.
- places like the playground, beach or park for the child to run and have fun is good enough.
Speech therapy
Occupational therapy
Music therapy
Technology / computer programs
Family - IMPORTANT to teach siblings on interact
Do not isolate you or your child, you need to be surrounded by family and friends to improve interaction
Parents must learn to :-
*Get over caring about what other people think
*your child is here to stay, he needs your support
*Keep your sense of humour, take time to laugh
BE POSITIVE
Teach basic communication, it'll help the frustration.
No matter how bad the situation or behaviour, there is always a solution
*Regressive autism occurs when a child appears to develop typically but then starts to lose speech and social skills, typically between the ages of 15 and 30 months, and is subsequently diagnosed with autism. Other terms used to describe regression in children with autism are autism with regression, autistic regression, setback-type autism, and acquired autistic syndrome.There is no standard definition for regression, and the prevalence of regression varies depending on the definition used.[3] Some children show a mixture of features, with some early delays and some later losses; and there is evidence of a continuous spectrum of behaviors, rather than a black-and-white distinction, between autism with and without regression.
Gluten free diet
* A gluten-free diet is a diet that excludes foods containing gluten. Gluten is a protein found in wheat (including kamut and spelt), barley, rye, malts and triticale. It is used as a food addictive in the form of a flavoring, stabilizing or thickening agent, often as "dextrin". A gluten-free diet is the only medically accepted treatment for celiac disease, the related condition dermatitis herpetiformis, and wheat allergy.
Some idea of self help at home:-
Holding therapy
* when a child and mother cuddles and begins eye contact, his development would proceed normally.
Good for the child to be stress free, do not force the child in terms of anything.
Vigorous exercise helps the child gain control of their bodies , sleep better and leads to self stimulatin behaviour.
- places like the playground, beach or park for the child to run and have fun is good enough.
Speech therapy
Occupational therapy
Music therapy
Technology / computer programs
Family - IMPORTANT to teach siblings on interact
Do not isolate you or your child, you need to be surrounded by family and friends to improve interaction
Parents must learn to :-
*Get over caring about what other people think
*your child is here to stay, he needs your support
*Keep your sense of humour, take time to laugh
BE POSITIVE
Teach basic communication, it'll help the frustration.
No matter how bad the situation or behaviour, there is always a solution
i do take care of my sister too
I was clearing out some stuffs and i realised my kids are extremely quiet at this moment, something is not right. I turned and saw that my baby girl just sneezed and there were mucus dripping out of her nose, Zy was cleaning for her using a cloth! My baby boy cleaning his sister's nose for her!! And she just stared at him. That scene just melted my heart totally~
Zy brought home a goodie bag fro school with lots of sweets and biscuits, and i opened the bag for him to choose which he wanted to eat. He chose the bisuits. While eating, little glutton sister came toward him and said something in baby language. Upon seeing this , he gave his baby sister the biscuit! It was such a heart warming scene.......
My baby boy is a big brother now...
Zy brought home a goodie bag fro school with lots of sweets and biscuits, and i opened the bag for him to choose which he wanted to eat. He chose the bisuits. While eating, little glutton sister came toward him and said something in baby language. Upon seeing this , he gave his baby sister the biscuit! It was such a heart warming scene.......
My baby boy is a big brother now...
Life is full of hopes
Brought zy for his speech therapy session and i told his therapist about the result of his autism evaluation. The therapist gave me a shocked look and asked me where did i bring zy to for the assessment? So i told her the name of the center and immediately she gave me a dull look. I continued to tell her what the therapist told me in regards to how zy is not having mild autism but severe. The speeech therapist couldnt hear anymore and she stopped me saying "she tells that to everyone who goes there for evaluation. And they dont even provide occuptaional therapys!!!!"
I was shocked. Mainly because that lady sounded to real and she told me they had occuaptional therapy facilities in their center. then the speech therapist continued to say,
"they dont have occupational therapy there, its just that they know how occupational therapy is being done and they just do it without knowing what they are doing!!"
MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!! And i nearly sent my son there!!!!!! so what does this mean? My baby boy is not autistic? wrongly diagnosed just becos they wanted to earn my money?????????? What the hell~
So i decided to listen to my speech therapist and called zy's pd in regards to the matter. The PD said immediately,
"what nonsense??? He is fine!!!!!! even if he is autistic is really at the very borderline!! def not severe!!!!! and he doesnt need to change his diet! no no no no. I would suggest occupational therapy thats all"
PRAISE GOD!!!
I was happy!!! and mad!!!!!! Happy because my son is not what she claimed to be and im so mad at her lies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thats it! i had enough!!!! Im tired! Im lost because i dont know to who i should listen to!! I brought zy immediately to a polyclinic to get a referal letter to see the doctors at the govt hospital just for kids. When we finally saw the dotor at the polyclinic after waiting for the whole morning, he looked at my son and said "I dont think he is autistic at all. Look at his eye contact and response to me, its very good"
My tears welled up! i was ecstatic! However to clear all my doubts and worries i decided i will send him to the hospital anyway. And so an appt was fixed for 3 months later.
I was shocked. Mainly because that lady sounded to real and she told me they had occuaptional therapy facilities in their center. then the speech therapist continued to say,
"they dont have occupational therapy there, its just that they know how occupational therapy is being done and they just do it without knowing what they are doing!!"
MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!! And i nearly sent my son there!!!!!! so what does this mean? My baby boy is not autistic? wrongly diagnosed just becos they wanted to earn my money?????????? What the hell~
So i decided to listen to my speech therapist and called zy's pd in regards to the matter. The PD said immediately,
"what nonsense??? He is fine!!!!!! even if he is autistic is really at the very borderline!! def not severe!!!!! and he doesnt need to change his diet! no no no no. I would suggest occupational therapy thats all"
PRAISE GOD!!!
I was happy!!! and mad!!!!!! Happy because my son is not what she claimed to be and im so mad at her lies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thats it! i had enough!!!! Im tired! Im lost because i dont know to who i should listen to!! I brought zy immediately to a polyclinic to get a referal letter to see the doctors at the govt hospital just for kids. When we finally saw the dotor at the polyclinic after waiting for the whole morning, he looked at my son and said "I dont think he is autistic at all. Look at his eye contact and response to me, its very good"
My tears welled up! i was ecstatic! However to clear all my doubts and worries i decided i will send him to the hospital anyway. And so an appt was fixed for 3 months later.
good response
I started teaching Zy to take his bath towel and put his dirty clothes into the laundry basket. And after for about 1 day, he picked it up.
"take your towel for bath baby~"
and he ran straight to room took his bath towel and ran out to me.
"now put your clothes into the laundry basket pls"
and he put them in.
He had a very good response today in terms of me calling him. i would rate a 9/10 :)
Good improvement.
wrongly diagnosed with autism???? im beginning to think its true.
"take your towel for bath baby~"
and he ran straight to room took his bath towel and ran out to me.
"now put your clothes into the laundry basket pls"
and he put them in.
He had a very good response today in terms of me calling him. i would rate a 9/10 :)
Good improvement.
wrongly diagnosed with autism???? im beginning to think its true.
i have a sister
On a saturday, Zy woke up early and wanted to watch some tv, so as i was doing my chores i left he and my baby girl in the living room. Because i was cleaning the room i closed the door just in case my little girl comes in and steps on the dust on the floor. Yeah, she wanted to come into the room and so she started screaming at the door wanting me to open it. i decided to ignore and wait becos i was almost done!! but before i could do anything, zy stood up and opened the door for his baby sister and went back to the couch to catch his programmes....... i was ........ (-_-"') but hey! he actually stood up to open the door for his sister because she wated to but couldnt!!!! i was shocked!
Then when he was having breakfast with me , he stood up suddenly , went to the fridge, opened the door and took out a botlle of water and gestured for me to open it. So i did, he drank a few mouthfuls of water and gave it back to me so i thought why not teach him how to open the bottle, so i showed him twice and he picked it up! i was shocked again!
How fast kids learn!!!
Then when he was having breakfast with me , he stood up suddenly , went to the fridge, opened the door and took out a botlle of water and gestured for me to open it. So i did, he drank a few mouthfuls of water and gave it back to me so i thought why not teach him how to open the bottle, so i showed him twice and he picked it up! i was shocked again!
How fast kids learn!!!
focus
There was a day when zy woke up grumbling something that i couldnt understand and walked out to the living room. First thing was he looked at me, so i said "hi~" , he smiled widely and we hugged. Everything was as per normal and he headed to school till it was time to pick him up.
I usually get my husband's worker to give me a lift to pick zy up and its been going on for at least a month now every weekday and he already got used to sitting in "uncle's car" . That day when we went to pick him up , because i was talking to his teacher so uncle carried him back to the car first and zy started screaming. He screamed and screamed and screamed so i told him "zy baby focus". i said these 3 words for about 5 mins and he just got louder, so i thought i have to be louder than his screaming so i went louder "focus baby focus!!!" He was still throwing his tantrums after we got home and i wanted to give him a shower but he refused. So without a choice i carried him into the bathroom and he was still screaming refusing to take off his clothes, so i carried him tightly and counted 1 to 30 over and over again. again and again. until about 10 to 15 mins later i put him down and took off his clothes and carried him while bathing for him, which means yeah i was wet with my clothes on with all the soap and water. when i was almost done , he calmed down FINALLY.... after washing off the foam from his body i brought him to the room to put on his clothes and he started crying.. so i said "zy, you wanna watch youtube? mommy on it for you?" so i brought him to sit infront of the computer and switched on the youtube channels with nursery rhymes for him. He finally stopped crying.
Till he woke up from his noon nap, he came over to me, put his palms against my cheeks and tilt it left and right (his usual way of saying "mommy be happy) and suddenly stopped and kissed me on my lips... i was gonna melt!!
he is a very affectionate boy. And through his response, i feel somehow he was misdiagnosed with autism.... is he?
I usually get my husband's worker to give me a lift to pick zy up and its been going on for at least a month now every weekday and he already got used to sitting in "uncle's car" . That day when we went to pick him up , because i was talking to his teacher so uncle carried him back to the car first and zy started screaming. He screamed and screamed and screamed so i told him "zy baby focus". i said these 3 words for about 5 mins and he just got louder, so i thought i have to be louder than his screaming so i went louder "focus baby focus!!!" He was still throwing his tantrums after we got home and i wanted to give him a shower but he refused. So without a choice i carried him into the bathroom and he was still screaming refusing to take off his clothes, so i carried him tightly and counted 1 to 30 over and over again. again and again. until about 10 to 15 mins later i put him down and took off his clothes and carried him while bathing for him, which means yeah i was wet with my clothes on with all the soap and water. when i was almost done , he calmed down FINALLY.... after washing off the foam from his body i brought him to the room to put on his clothes and he started crying.. so i said "zy, you wanna watch youtube? mommy on it for you?" so i brought him to sit infront of the computer and switched on the youtube channels with nursery rhymes for him. He finally stopped crying.
Till he woke up from his noon nap, he came over to me, put his palms against my cheeks and tilt it left and right (his usual way of saying "mommy be happy) and suddenly stopped and kissed me on my lips... i was gonna melt!!
he is a very affectionate boy. And through his response, i feel somehow he was misdiagnosed with autism.... is he?
Sunday, October 28, 2012
An inspiring story
Its one of those beautiful days when you feel all is right in the world, i decided to stop at a cafe with my 4 year old son.
At the next table, a mother and her 10 year old son were laughing at a joke he just told her. She asked him about his day in school and he told her the games he played during recess. When the waiter came to take their orders, he asked "mama, can i have a cake a cup of hot chocolate?" She ruffled his hair and said "go ahead".
When the waiter came to our table, i asked my son if he would like to have a hot chocolate , he stared at the speckled dust in the air refelcted by the light , his head locked to one side while spinning the spoon he had found on the table. He appeared not to hear me, it was as if i hadnt spoken. I looked with envy at the other table where the mother and son share an ordinary moment with her child. That all-too-familiar ach descended as i realized once again that i might never have a moment like tat with my son. I wonder if he'll ever look at me with the same interest as he have for the spoon. I reached for the spoon and started fidgiting with it \. My son looked at the movement of the spoon, i picked it up and twirled it infront of my face. For an instant, he looked at me in the eyes and smiled before fixating back on the spoon, melting my heart in the process.
Perhaps i thought i might never be able to have a conversation with him about recess but i know we will connect somehow. We will find a way.
Our way.
from a strong mother.
At the next table, a mother and her 10 year old son were laughing at a joke he just told her. She asked him about his day in school and he told her the games he played during recess. When the waiter came to take their orders, he asked "mama, can i have a cake a cup of hot chocolate?" She ruffled his hair and said "go ahead".
When the waiter came to our table, i asked my son if he would like to have a hot chocolate , he stared at the speckled dust in the air refelcted by the light , his head locked to one side while spinning the spoon he had found on the table. He appeared not to hear me, it was as if i hadnt spoken. I looked with envy at the other table where the mother and son share an ordinary moment with her child. That all-too-familiar ach descended as i realized once again that i might never have a moment like tat with my son. I wonder if he'll ever look at me with the same interest as he have for the spoon. I reached for the spoon and started fidgiting with it \. My son looked at the movement of the spoon, i picked it up and twirled it infront of my face. For an instant, he looked at me in the eyes and smiled before fixating back on the spoon, melting my heart in the process.
Perhaps i thought i might never be able to have a conversation with him about recess but i know we will connect somehow. We will find a way.
Our way.
from a strong mother.
food for thought
When it comes down to that you expected something that was tremendously important to you, and you looked forward to it with great joy and excitement, and maybe for a while you thought you actually had it ~ and then , perhaps gradually , perhaps abruptly, you had to recognize that the thing you looked forward to hasnt happened.
It isnt going to happen.
No matter how many other normal children you have , nothing will change the fact that this time, the child you waited, hoped, planned and dreamed for didnt arrive.
Shattered Expectations
It isnt going to happen.
No matter how many other normal children you have , nothing will change the fact that this time, the child you waited, hoped, planned and dreamed for didnt arrive.
Shattered Expectations
An average day
Zy woke up himself and after drinking the milk i prepared for him ,got dressed for school. i asked for a hug and he looked at me in the eye, smiled and walked over.. then hubs came to pick him up from school.
After school, his teacher was tellng me he was very happy today and did very well in school, when he saw me by the gate he gave his biggest smile and ran over, waved 'bye bye' to his teacher and held his hands high to indicate he wants to be carried! hahahaha and so i did.
Went home, showered and took his nap and when he woke up i pretended to be a tiger and 'roared' at him. hahahaha he made very long eye contact with me , trying to figure out what i was going to do next.
Then when evening came we brought him to the playground to play , and he tried to join in the other kids but its not easy.. and when i called out to him, he looked at me and smiled.
After school, his teacher was tellng me he was very happy today and did very well in school, when he saw me by the gate he gave his biggest smile and ran over, waved 'bye bye' to his teacher and held his hands high to indicate he wants to be carried! hahahaha and so i did.
Went home, showered and took his nap and when he woke up i pretended to be a tiger and 'roared' at him. hahahaha he made very long eye contact with me , trying to figure out what i was going to do next.
Then when evening came we brought him to the playground to play , and he tried to join in the other kids but its not easy.. and when i called out to him, he looked at me and smiled.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Autism is not retarded
* Many people with autism have sensory overload, some or all their senses are 100X more sensitive than others, therefore they process the environment differently from neurotypicals (aka normal ppl).
THERE IS A CURE FOR AUTISM
* Recovery means that they have to overcome some of the symptoms they had that made it difficult for them to live full and successful lives in a world created by neurotypicals.
Characteristics of Autism:~
* high pitched voice
* does not reach milestones
* low muscle tone
* uneven fine & gross motor skills
* covers ears
* does not respond to name / act deaf
* does not react to pain
* does not like to be touched
* hyperactive or unresponsive
* eats or chews on unusual things
* smells objects
* remove clothes often
* hits or bites self
* lacks common sense
* cannot understand simple requests
* diarrhea , upset stomach, constipation
BEHAVIOURS ARE A FORM OF COMMUNICATION
For the very young and non verbal, behaviour is the only way for them to communicate with us. They cannot help what they are doing, they are not just "being difficult".
some characteristics and what they mean? :~
Finicky eating :~
* Eating only from certain food groups can be indictive of food allergies.
* Eating only foods of the same texture, smelling the food before eating it.
sensory processing issues
Avoidance of auditory stimulation
* Covering the ears / appearing deaf (not responding when name is called)
Auditory processing difficulties High sensitivity to sounds
* Leaving a room when people enter (avoiding too much auditory stimulation)
* Listening to and repeating tv commercials or songs indicates the person has gotten used to hearing those sounds. Desensitized himself to them. Listening to people talking is more difficult because peeple dont usually say the same thing twice and no 2 people talk the same way.
* often have monotone or peculiar intonations becos they dont understand the concept of nuance.
* No reaction or else a strong reaction to touch
* Fall and cut themselves but will not cry , tactile senses very dull, doesnt feel sensations like the way most people do.
Removes clothes or shoes often
* may not like the feel of a peculiar texture on their skin. Certain fabrics or shoes can make them very uncomfortable.
Lack of eye contact
* People with visual processing problems find it hard to look at people straight on, they look from the corner of their eyes.
Unusual body movements
* Rocking in a chair / back and forth from one foot to another - stress release from too much stimulation or not enough.
*Flicking of fingers would also be a release from stress , but if front of eyes, could be a visual processing stimulation.
* Awkward movements and running into furnitures can be symptoms of poor mapping.
(poor fine and gross motor skills)
Does not play with or imitate others
* Child with sensory processing issues will have difficulty being near other children , who are in his eyes, noisy and unpredictable . (canno tolerate)
Lines up objects
* Slows a need for sameness (do not like changes in their routine)
* They may have a hard time making sense of their world and so the sameness in certain areas provides a predictibility and and security missing from an existence which they are having a hard time comprehending.
Temper , tantrums, hyperactivity and aggression towards self or others.
* Sensory overload / change in the sameness that provides security.
* Bright , noisy , crowded places are hard on people with sensory issues.
* Aggression towards others (sensory overload)
* self aggression could be due to seeking sensory stimulation, feeling pain or frustration.
you never get over, you just have to learn to deal with it
see, listen and observe I
I didnt bring Zy in to school one day becos he kept crying since 6am in the morning. I guessed it was a case of bad tummy, he vomitted 3 times due to the gag while crying.. so i tried putting on medication and rubbed his tummy, eventually he fell asleep..
Becos he hasnt started to talk and he doesnt really know how to express himself, i always had to guess why is he crying.
Finally when he woke up he was like his usual self again however refused lunch. fussy eater. Awhile later, he was smiling and laughing as well as playing his toys. I was stilll in the midst of learning the habits and emotions of an autistic child so it was really quite stressful. A part of me was screaming inside and disagreeing that my child is autistic and another part of me is calm and is determined to help my son in ways that i can.
At noon, he was playing beside me while i was doing some things and when i turned to look at what he was up to, i saw that he actually took the ear thermometer and placed the tip into his ear looked at me and smiled. "taking his own temperature" Was that pretend play?
Things look good when he starts to pretend play~
After a long nap, he woke up and sat on a couch, i walked over and smiled then said "good afternoon!"
He looked into my eyes and smiled !!! (see! eye contact!! good eye contact!!)
Evening came and we decided to bring him to an indoor playground not far from our house to have some fun, there were a few times he wanted to join in with the other children running around the area but he doesnt know how to join in and becos he wasnt talking when they tried to talk to him he never replies, and so they left him alone. It was only when they start screaming and running again he laughed along and wanted to join in. Then again like distracted, he walks away and playing with daddy again....
I wanted to cry~ i asked myself
"why is my son so lonely?"
Becos he hasnt started to talk and he doesnt really know how to express himself, i always had to guess why is he crying.
Finally when he woke up he was like his usual self again however refused lunch. fussy eater. Awhile later, he was smiling and laughing as well as playing his toys. I was stilll in the midst of learning the habits and emotions of an autistic child so it was really quite stressful. A part of me was screaming inside and disagreeing that my child is autistic and another part of me is calm and is determined to help my son in ways that i can.
At noon, he was playing beside me while i was doing some things and when i turned to look at what he was up to, i saw that he actually took the ear thermometer and placed the tip into his ear looked at me and smiled. "taking his own temperature" Was that pretend play?
Things look good when he starts to pretend play~
After a long nap, he woke up and sat on a couch, i walked over and smiled then said "good afternoon!"
He looked into my eyes and smiled !!! (see! eye contact!! good eye contact!!)
Evening came and we decided to bring him to an indoor playground not far from our house to have some fun, there were a few times he wanted to join in with the other children running around the area but he doesnt know how to join in and becos he wasnt talking when they tried to talk to him he never replies, and so they left him alone. It was only when they start screaming and running again he laughed along and wanted to join in. Then again like distracted, he walks away and playing with daddy again....
I wanted to cry~ i asked myself
"why is my son so lonely?"
shattered expectations
Previously i mentioned we made an appt for zy to get evaluated for autism by a professional. We called several places and managed to get this recommendation which we heard was good.
I was so nervous on the day of the appt and i made sure the car came on time to fetch us to the center. I remembered when i stepped into the center, i wanted to cry. The place was also a special school for children with special needs and it was after school hours but there were children there waiting for their parents to pick them up.
I went forward to the reception and told the lady my name and that i have an appt. So she sat me down and told me to fill in some forms which i did. And about 10mins later we were called into the room and we met the therapist/ examiner or whatever u call it. but defintely not doctor. She sat me down and gave my little boy 2 boxes of toys to play then she started asking me questions that were printed on a questionaire which i think she mentioned its a test called "CARS"? (i cant remember the term) And so it begins, question by question and answer by answer. i answered her as best as i could, trying not to miss out even the slightest detail becos to me every little detail matters and it will define my baby boy.
20 mins later
The questions were over, i thought maybe she should try to communicate with zy and see how he reacts to her, but she didnt. And she came to a conclusion saying "yes, he is autistic". I was taken aback and immediately my tears flowed. I asked her "is it mild?" Becos other than not talking, my son is like an average kid, affectionate and plays well also not afraid of strangers plus he listens to commands, have eye contact with me and understands the things that i tell him. How severe can it be? Right?
"No, its quite severe" she said.
My heart sank.
My next question was "i have seen people on the streets talking to themselves and hitting themselves, is he going to be like that when he grows up?"
"As long as he goes for therapys, it will not happen."
i didnt care. My mind was only thinking, my child's future is gone. He is not gonna have a normal life and make friends, have fun , meet a nice girl and have his own family. What am i gonna do? What am i gonna do? I will die one day, and when im gone , whos gonna watch over him?
She proceeded to say "we have therapys here specialized in helping him."
"Just how severe is Autism?" i finally asked.
She opened her cupboard, took out a book and handed it to me and told me to read through it to understand Autism.
"What did i do? or what did i not do? why?"
She then said "Its not about what u have or have not done, it is a genetic disorder. He was born with it. Dont feel guilty, it wasnt created by anyone"
So.... it wasnt my fault?.....
she went on to say " i will recommend him to undergo 3 different therapys , Speech, hydro and occupational therapy. We have the facility here and i would suggest you change his diet. No carbs, no milk ,no fried stuffs, no oily stuffs. "
"But he loves all those that you've mentioned! What can he eat then?"
"Has it ever occured to you why he likes to eat all those? Thats cos he is sensitive to them, and eating those food would make his condition worse" she said.
But I've always thought ALL children loves cakes, bread, milk , french fries, nuggets....
She went on to say "He can change his milk to soy milk which we are selling here and his diet have to be strictly gluten free"
And so i told her to list the kind of therapy my boy would need and also their respective charges. And that was the end of the appt. I couldnt stop crying on the road back home and i kept asking myself why me? why my child? All i ever wanted was for my children to be an average kid, happy and healthy, but why this? And the moment i saw my husband, i broke down asking him all my questions, asking him over and over again what were we going to do , how is it going to be , whats our next step, will he get bullied in school in the future? is he gonna have friends?? Is he going to have a life???? What am i supposed to do now????????
My husband was calm. And he looked at me, said, "first , you have to calm down, organise your thoughts, and accept it. You are his main caregiver, you are his mother. You are going to be his support and if you break down, who is going to help him? who is going to support him? If you cannot accept it, who is he going to turn to?"
I woke up instantly. I was "brought back to life". My husband just knocked some sense into me. And thank goodness he did.
I sat down, opened the book that the therapist gave me and started reading. To gain knowledge on what exactly is Autism. The effects it will have on the child. As i read, i cry and that was all i ever did for the next 3 days. I started taking notes that i thought was important and before i knew it i stopped crying. There were short inspiring stories in the book that made me feel i wasnt alone and it practically answered all my questions.
The title of the book is : Autism Spectrum Disorders by Chantal sicile- kira
(i will put up some important notes and quotes from the book later on as well as the inspiring stories)
The points in the book :
*The causes of Autism Spectrum Disorders
* How to properly diagnose ASDs
*The different categories of Autism
*Why people with ASDs act the way the do
*Treatments based on behavioral, psychological and biomedical interventions
*Coping strategies and practical tips for families
*Educational needs and programs
*Community interaction
*Teaching strategies and resources for educators and other professionals
(Its a really good book at a reasonable price and you can get in any bookstores.)
When i finally stopped crying and thinking of my next step, i have accepted this nightmare. Even though i really wished it was just a nightmare. I came to terms that no matter what happens this is my child. Im his mother. And Zy is still Zy. He is still the affectionate boy that i have and he is still the playful little fella. Nothing's changed. Im still proud of him being able to listen to instructions and help me with the chores like keeping his toys and throwing rubbish that he sees on the floor into the bin etc.
I then realised what i felt was "shattered expectations".
How i hoped my son would go to school, make friends, hang out with his peers serve the ns, meet a nice girl~ etc.....
"Shattered Expectations" made me lose myself.
from the book : ~
People with ASDs is much like the general population : some of us have special talents, some of us are geniuses , some of us are retarded and some of us are just average earthlings
I was so nervous on the day of the appt and i made sure the car came on time to fetch us to the center. I remembered when i stepped into the center, i wanted to cry. The place was also a special school for children with special needs and it was after school hours but there were children there waiting for their parents to pick them up.
I went forward to the reception and told the lady my name and that i have an appt. So she sat me down and told me to fill in some forms which i did. And about 10mins later we were called into the room and we met the therapist/ examiner or whatever u call it. but defintely not doctor. She sat me down and gave my little boy 2 boxes of toys to play then she started asking me questions that were printed on a questionaire which i think she mentioned its a test called "CARS"? (i cant remember the term) And so it begins, question by question and answer by answer. i answered her as best as i could, trying not to miss out even the slightest detail becos to me every little detail matters and it will define my baby boy.
20 mins later
The questions were over, i thought maybe she should try to communicate with zy and see how he reacts to her, but she didnt. And she came to a conclusion saying "yes, he is autistic". I was taken aback and immediately my tears flowed. I asked her "is it mild?" Becos other than not talking, my son is like an average kid, affectionate and plays well also not afraid of strangers plus he listens to commands, have eye contact with me and understands the things that i tell him. How severe can it be? Right?
"No, its quite severe" she said.
My heart sank.
My next question was "i have seen people on the streets talking to themselves and hitting themselves, is he going to be like that when he grows up?"
"As long as he goes for therapys, it will not happen."
i didnt care. My mind was only thinking, my child's future is gone. He is not gonna have a normal life and make friends, have fun , meet a nice girl and have his own family. What am i gonna do? What am i gonna do? I will die one day, and when im gone , whos gonna watch over him?
She proceeded to say "we have therapys here specialized in helping him."
"Just how severe is Autism?" i finally asked.
She opened her cupboard, took out a book and handed it to me and told me to read through it to understand Autism.
"What did i do? or what did i not do? why?"
She then said "Its not about what u have or have not done, it is a genetic disorder. He was born with it. Dont feel guilty, it wasnt created by anyone"
So.... it wasnt my fault?.....
she went on to say " i will recommend him to undergo 3 different therapys , Speech, hydro and occupational therapy. We have the facility here and i would suggest you change his diet. No carbs, no milk ,no fried stuffs, no oily stuffs. "
"But he loves all those that you've mentioned! What can he eat then?"
"Has it ever occured to you why he likes to eat all those? Thats cos he is sensitive to them, and eating those food would make his condition worse" she said.
But I've always thought ALL children loves cakes, bread, milk , french fries, nuggets....
She went on to say "He can change his milk to soy milk which we are selling here and his diet have to be strictly gluten free"
And so i told her to list the kind of therapy my boy would need and also their respective charges. And that was the end of the appt. I couldnt stop crying on the road back home and i kept asking myself why me? why my child? All i ever wanted was for my children to be an average kid, happy and healthy, but why this? And the moment i saw my husband, i broke down asking him all my questions, asking him over and over again what were we going to do , how is it going to be , whats our next step, will he get bullied in school in the future? is he gonna have friends?? Is he going to have a life???? What am i supposed to do now????????
My husband was calm. And he looked at me, said, "first , you have to calm down, organise your thoughts, and accept it. You are his main caregiver, you are his mother. You are going to be his support and if you break down, who is going to help him? who is going to support him? If you cannot accept it, who is he going to turn to?"
I woke up instantly. I was "brought back to life". My husband just knocked some sense into me. And thank goodness he did.
I sat down, opened the book that the therapist gave me and started reading. To gain knowledge on what exactly is Autism. The effects it will have on the child. As i read, i cry and that was all i ever did for the next 3 days. I started taking notes that i thought was important and before i knew it i stopped crying. There were short inspiring stories in the book that made me feel i wasnt alone and it practically answered all my questions.
The title of the book is : Autism Spectrum Disorders by Chantal sicile- kira
(i will put up some important notes and quotes from the book later on as well as the inspiring stories)
The points in the book :
*The causes of Autism Spectrum Disorders
* How to properly diagnose ASDs
*The different categories of Autism
*Why people with ASDs act the way the do
*Treatments based on behavioral, psychological and biomedical interventions
*Coping strategies and practical tips for families
*Educational needs and programs
*Community interaction
*Teaching strategies and resources for educators and other professionals
(Its a really good book at a reasonable price and you can get in any bookstores.)
When i finally stopped crying and thinking of my next step, i have accepted this nightmare. Even though i really wished it was just a nightmare. I came to terms that no matter what happens this is my child. Im his mother. And Zy is still Zy. He is still the affectionate boy that i have and he is still the playful little fella. Nothing's changed. Im still proud of him being able to listen to instructions and help me with the chores like keeping his toys and throwing rubbish that he sees on the floor into the bin etc.
I then realised what i felt was "shattered expectations".
How i hoped my son would go to school, make friends, hang out with his peers serve the ns, meet a nice girl~ etc.....
"Shattered Expectations" made me lose myself.
from the book : ~
People with ASDs is much like the general population : some of us have special talents, some of us are geniuses , some of us are retarded and some of us are just average earthlings
Progress and hopes
When i first went school hunting, i was really stressed due to the first attempt that failed terribly and the last thing i wanted was for my little boy to be afraid of this place called "school".
My husband and i went searching high and low for schools and they were either too low in standards in their curriculum or the school environment was really awful. Awful in a sense that the corners, mats and toilet were nothing but filth and dirt! This wasnt the kind of school i had in mind for my son's foundation for education. So it was really tiring and disappontment came again and again until we passed by 1 school.
The school looked clean and new, it had a swimming pool and a playground. We decided to make an appointment to view and find out more. On the day of viewing, we brought zy along to show him the environment and also see if he could accept the place. We first met up with the Person in charge and she showed us the school and classes explaining how their education system works. The classes were clean and bright, lobby was great with all kinds of alphabets and pictures of flowers. We were there after school hours and the teachers were sending the kids to their parents at the door but before they do that they were actualy singing and dancing a "goodbye song" which i felt would attract my little boy since i have been doing that fom the moment he was born. The teachers didnt mind the fact that they acted like clowns and they take great care of each and every child. That caught my attention. When we finally sat down , i was already happy with the environment, the next step was to talk about my concerns. I explained that my son has a problem, he refuses to talk and he doesnt really know how to express himself and immediately the PIC told me his behaviour becos she was watching him while talking to us. She explained my son's character and personality without me saying a word to her, and i was shocked. My tears flowed and i got really agitated becos it was like "finally! finally someone understands me!!! finally someone understand my baby!!!!" And she continues saying "mommy, dont stress yourself up, things will turn out fine and he will be fine. dont think that he has a problem. if you believe he has a problem he will have a problem, but if you think that he doesnt have a problem , he will not have a problem, you have to support him and accept him the way he is and he will be fine." I knew in that instance if i dont sign up for my boy i will be an idiot.
So a week later zy started attending his new school. It was still the holiday period for school , but his teacher told us they would like him to go in and familiarize the environment first before the other children comes in and that would intimidate him. For this they will not charge me, it will be free of charge, no school fees needed. I thought how sincere is the school! i was excited and soon enough zy started his first day. Cry, yes he did. But after a while he stopped. 2nd day still crying.. but stopped earlier than the first. 3rd day made a little noise but was alright soon enough and the next thing i knew, my boy looks forward to going to school every day! On weekends when there was no school, he would take his schoolbag, bring it to me and bring pull my hand to the door telling me he wants to go to school. I was happy.
1st month, he learned to dance and would blabber baby words.
2nd month, he came home and kept his toys back to their original places (i used to do it for him all the time)
3rd month, i caught him walking into school sat down on the bench, took of his shoes, put them neatly on the shoe rack that was meat for his class and walk into the lobby area to get ready for lineup and came home take off his own shoe put them on the rack, take his bath towel and wait for me in the bathroom for his shower . Put his clothes into the laundry basket.
4th month, started to read his books on his own from his little bookshelf.
Although he hasnt started to talk but all these proved his progress! I was thrlled at the things my son could do! i was too protective and usually he was the mama's boy and now he could do all these things by himself i was really proud.
Then one day the school told us the online surround cctv is up and that we parents can now go online to see what our child is doing in class, of cos as a protective parent, i made sure i log in everyday to see what he does in school until the time i had to pick him up. He is very close to his teacher and sometimes i even see his teacher hugging him from the cctv. He would wait intently for me at the school bench everyday after school and as soon as he sees my face, waves his teacher goodbye and we will go home. i would ask "darling, how is school today?" And of cos he will not reply me but he looks at me and smile sometimes blabber in baby language.
His teacher then mentioned to me one day that she is trying to teach him to mouth words ans i thanked her profusely becos when i do that my little boy usually wants me to play with him rather than teach him new words... he is such an affectionate boy.
I was still in bed one morning and felt someone touching me, when i opened my eyes i saw my boy touching my face kissed me! i was so touched by his affection. My bestie then told me thats becos i have always showed him affection and thus he is doing the same back to me.. i was really crying already then. Annd becos im very afraid of house lizards, my boy was influenced by me and too started to be afraid of them, and there was this incident whereby i screamed really loudly when i saw ne house lizard stuck on the sticky tape that i used to stick his alphabets poster, he went forward to the poster and screamed at the lizard, blabbered something and ran back to me like trying to chase it away.. my son was protecting me, or so i think.
Given all these, i still feel even though he is affectionate, improved so much so much, i thanked the school, i need to bring him for an assessment for autism and so i made a few necessary phone calls, contacted a center for autism assessment and made an appointment.
I watched a couple of videos on YouTube on autistic children and i just cried. becos the images on the videos, i felt i was watchng my son. I was already 90 percent confirmed on my own that my son is autistic.
My boy is starting to sound out alphabets and he surprised me by pointing to the alphabets, shapes and colors when i asked him!!!So it meant he did listen to me when i was teaching him!!!! Again! IM A PROUD MAMA!!!
Im writing this blog so as to tell all the mothers who has a child facing autism not to give up and that u r not alone. Follow me as we embark on this journey together. And if you need someone to talk to, you can always drop me an email at kingyomama@gmail.com .
remember you r not alone. there will always be hope.
My husband and i went searching high and low for schools and they were either too low in standards in their curriculum or the school environment was really awful. Awful in a sense that the corners, mats and toilet were nothing but filth and dirt! This wasnt the kind of school i had in mind for my son's foundation for education. So it was really tiring and disappontment came again and again until we passed by 1 school.
The school looked clean and new, it had a swimming pool and a playground. We decided to make an appointment to view and find out more. On the day of viewing, we brought zy along to show him the environment and also see if he could accept the place. We first met up with the Person in charge and she showed us the school and classes explaining how their education system works. The classes were clean and bright, lobby was great with all kinds of alphabets and pictures of flowers. We were there after school hours and the teachers were sending the kids to their parents at the door but before they do that they were actualy singing and dancing a "goodbye song" which i felt would attract my little boy since i have been doing that fom the moment he was born. The teachers didnt mind the fact that they acted like clowns and they take great care of each and every child. That caught my attention. When we finally sat down , i was already happy with the environment, the next step was to talk about my concerns. I explained that my son has a problem, he refuses to talk and he doesnt really know how to express himself and immediately the PIC told me his behaviour becos she was watching him while talking to us. She explained my son's character and personality without me saying a word to her, and i was shocked. My tears flowed and i got really agitated becos it was like "finally! finally someone understands me!!! finally someone understand my baby!!!!" And she continues saying "mommy, dont stress yourself up, things will turn out fine and he will be fine. dont think that he has a problem. if you believe he has a problem he will have a problem, but if you think that he doesnt have a problem , he will not have a problem, you have to support him and accept him the way he is and he will be fine." I knew in that instance if i dont sign up for my boy i will be an idiot.
So a week later zy started attending his new school. It was still the holiday period for school , but his teacher told us they would like him to go in and familiarize the environment first before the other children comes in and that would intimidate him. For this they will not charge me, it will be free of charge, no school fees needed. I thought how sincere is the school! i was excited and soon enough zy started his first day. Cry, yes he did. But after a while he stopped. 2nd day still crying.. but stopped earlier than the first. 3rd day made a little noise but was alright soon enough and the next thing i knew, my boy looks forward to going to school every day! On weekends when there was no school, he would take his schoolbag, bring it to me and bring pull my hand to the door telling me he wants to go to school. I was happy.
1st month, he learned to dance and would blabber baby words.
2nd month, he came home and kept his toys back to their original places (i used to do it for him all the time)
3rd month, i caught him walking into school sat down on the bench, took of his shoes, put them neatly on the shoe rack that was meat for his class and walk into the lobby area to get ready for lineup and came home take off his own shoe put them on the rack, take his bath towel and wait for me in the bathroom for his shower . Put his clothes into the laundry basket.
4th month, started to read his books on his own from his little bookshelf.
Although he hasnt started to talk but all these proved his progress! I was thrlled at the things my son could do! i was too protective and usually he was the mama's boy and now he could do all these things by himself i was really proud.
Then one day the school told us the online surround cctv is up and that we parents can now go online to see what our child is doing in class, of cos as a protective parent, i made sure i log in everyday to see what he does in school until the time i had to pick him up. He is very close to his teacher and sometimes i even see his teacher hugging him from the cctv. He would wait intently for me at the school bench everyday after school and as soon as he sees my face, waves his teacher goodbye and we will go home. i would ask "darling, how is school today?" And of cos he will not reply me but he looks at me and smile sometimes blabber in baby language.
His teacher then mentioned to me one day that she is trying to teach him to mouth words ans i thanked her profusely becos when i do that my little boy usually wants me to play with him rather than teach him new words... he is such an affectionate boy.
I was still in bed one morning and felt someone touching me, when i opened my eyes i saw my boy touching my face kissed me! i was so touched by his affection. My bestie then told me thats becos i have always showed him affection and thus he is doing the same back to me.. i was really crying already then. Annd becos im very afraid of house lizards, my boy was influenced by me and too started to be afraid of them, and there was this incident whereby i screamed really loudly when i saw ne house lizard stuck on the sticky tape that i used to stick his alphabets poster, he went forward to the poster and screamed at the lizard, blabbered something and ran back to me like trying to chase it away.. my son was protecting me, or so i think.
Given all these, i still feel even though he is affectionate, improved so much so much, i thanked the school, i need to bring him for an assessment for autism and so i made a few necessary phone calls, contacted a center for autism assessment and made an appointment.
I watched a couple of videos on YouTube on autistic children and i just cried. becos the images on the videos, i felt i was watchng my son. I was already 90 percent confirmed on my own that my son is autistic.
My boy is starting to sound out alphabets and he surprised me by pointing to the alphabets, shapes and colors when i asked him!!!So it meant he did listen to me when i was teaching him!!!! Again! IM A PROUD MAMA!!!
Im writing this blog so as to tell all the mothers who has a child facing autism not to give up and that u r not alone. Follow me as we embark on this journey together. And if you need someone to talk to, you can always drop me an email at kingyomama@gmail.com .
remember you r not alone. there will always be hope.
My special son
My son was born on 15th november 2009.
He was a healthy baby and born through c-section due to me being very afraid of child birth pains. (Dun judge me, everyone has their own fears)
Baby Zy was a gift and when i first saw him, i told myself that i would give this baby everything in the world. ~ I guess thats how all parents feel when they first saw this beautiful stranger aka baby ~
I made sure everything in the house is cleaned and properly sanitized especially with this additional new member that completes my life with the word "Family". Now that he is here, all our time and attention was just soley on our new baby.
Due to certain circumstances, we moved a couple of times and each and everytime we'll try our best to gve baby zy the best and eventually we settled down in a neighbouring country where my husband was born. Baby Zy was growing up day by day and his facial expressions from just smiling started to become giggles and laughters, even his screams were getting louder when he throws a tantrum! He was the cutest little boy in my eyes.. When he first called me "mama" i was soooo happy, and tears welled up in my eyes! i was so sensitive and easily touched by every little thing my baby did! He was well and happy. However, my baby was very afraid of strangers and he will wail and scream everytime somebody comes over to say hello or make comments about how adorable he is. i thought maybe it was becos he was the only baby at home and he havent been with strangers around him and its normal for him to have fears and anxieties, hence i wasnt worried in any way. On his 1st birthday, we brought him for a haircut and threw him a birthday bash with an elmo cake with lots of sesame street character cupcakes! It was a great birthday and i was a proud mother!!! My son turned 1!!!
All was well and different babies have different characters and personalities so even though baby zy wasnt making too much noise or blabberings i just thought my baby is just a quiet baby thats all. But i made an attempt to check with his PD "why is my baby not talking and walking yet"? Only to get the answer "he's still young, its alright, give him more time :)" Im not a PD, i didnt take medical studies and im defintely not a doctor. I was a first time mother! A newbie. (So naturally i chose to believe whatever the doctor says cos that is a professonal) A few months passed and at 16 months my baby took his first step!! i cried!!! it was the most beautiful scene.. and i taped it down like all first time mothers, called everyone in my family to tell them my baby just took his first step and announced it on facebook like a crazy woman!!
Then i realised, my baby stopped callng "mama" and he would keep so quiet that i thought its weird. But then again i had friends who's kids are same age as my baby and they too havent started talking and so i thought its not that weird. But then again i checked with his PD and only to get the answer "boys are usually slower than girls, no worries, give him more time." Upon hearing this i decided my son needs more time.
Baby zy loves to watch tv and when im doing my chores, usually i would just switch on his favourite channel and hurry to finish my chores, and usually he gets so engrossed in it and i end up watching it with him. I began learning the songs, the dances and the actions and try to do it with him, he just watches me smile and laughs like "mommy is a clown". I get him flashcards, cut out alphabets from clothes and plastics to create different textures, sing nursery rhymes and dances for him, he was always laughing and happy.
But of cos life isnt all laughter and happiness there are times where i lost my patience with him when he wakes up in the night and refuses to sleep, or when he throws tantrums, scream and cries.. i've even smacked him on his butt becos i feel that there are diapers so at least its not that hurting and of cos i use my hands. (dun judge me im just only human and theres only so much emotions i can control). My baby was growing up day by day and im begining to feel that he is lonely.. maybe he's so quiet becos he is lonely~ and so baby no.2 came along. I was pregnant and to know that theres another baby coming really made me and my husband excited! My baby zy is gonna have a playmate. His very own sister and he's going to be a big brother.
I had to stay in the hospital for 3 days due to my delivery and that was the 1st time my boy had to separate from me. And everyday my husband would bring him to the hospital to visit me. He came the first day really happy to see my face annd was so reluctant to go home when daddy said it was time to go.. i cried... couldnt sleep the whole time thinking of my baby boy, yeah im the one with the separation anxiety not him. Then on the second day, it turned out that my little boy remembered the way to the hospital and ran straight ahead of his daddy toward my room and surprised me!! I knew he was coming but came running into my room first made me so touched! Its like "awe my baby missed me!!!" and i tried my best to hug him but becos i just had a c section done i couldnt carry him so hugging was the best i could do. The whole time he sat on my bed and stayed close to me i know that my son missed me and of cos i missed him too, even without words our communicating ways were known in each other's heart. And again he didnt wanna go back home without me, before he left he grabbed my hand indicating wanting me to go along and i explained to him "mommy has to stay in the hospital and will be home soon alright? i love you so so much" and i cried again.... went thru the night without any sleep. Finally it was time to go home, he was so happy to see me and curious about his new baby sister too! I was so afraid that he might get jealous and thinks that becos of the new baby mommy is not giving her full attention, so i practically didnt let go of him if i had the chance and i continued to shower and feed him talking and telling him the baby is his sister.
A few months later my boy turned 2 and this year , my husband and i decided that we'll bring him out to dinner and a trip to the amusement park and let him have as much fun as possible, and we bought a mickey mouse cake and a study table with alphabets and numbers in magnet form whereby he can stick onto the white board that comes with it. He was still not talking but he understands everythng we told him and taught him, mimics the dances he sees on tv and blabbers baby language. Also his interaction with strangers and other people were getting better. We checked with his PD again, and still got the answer "boys r usually slower than girls , but if u r really worried maybe u can send him to a speech therapist for an evaluation?" At this point, everyone thinks i was crazy, and nobody listened to me when i said something is not right somewhere and everyone agrees that he may just be a slow bloomer, dont pressurize him and he will talk eventually "the who-so-ever's child didnt talk till he was 4, the other didnt talk till he was 7...."etc. And for a moment i thought i really was thinking too much.
Some people then suggested us to send him to a preschool to mix with children his own age so that he would have friends and start talking (even though zy goes to the playgound often but he didnt like playing wth kids his own age, he prefer the bigger children and he would chase after them to play, but he was small and big kids dun play with small kids so..... it all ends up me n daddy playing with him. he tends to ignore his peers). So we found a preschool for him ad deided to send him there since its an international school and such schools have all sorts of events for kids and it'll be fun to have playmates. But things werent what we expected. My boy first went to school happily and everything was new, he was the only child that wasnt crying over the environment and the other crying kids did not affect him at all. After 2 weeks he started crying and refuse to go to school. I pick him up myself everyday and checked with the teacher on his progress only to get the answer "he's very good!! but he's not talking and tends to be by himself but he is improving!". And every morning when we send zy to school, as soon as we reached the traffic light that leads to the road to the school he starts crying and when i pick him up from school, he cries too a month went by and teachers were saying "he's improving, very good!" etc.. One day as soon as we dropped him off at school, the principal called me on my mobile asking if i could turn back and take zy home becos he wouldnt stop crying. My first thought was "absurd" what did you mean take him home just becos he was crying? What i really wanted to hear was "can u come to the school becos zy is crying, maybe we can sit down and talk about the situation and see what we can do together to solve this problem". Not simply "pls take him home becos he is crying and its affecting the other children." (Just so you know i was still checking with the teacher everyday and all she said was "very good he is improving!!!") So straightaway i went down to his school and took him home let him stay home for a couple of days and brought him to school again, he cried so i decided i will take him out. Maybe he wasnt ready. The principal of that school had the cheek to tell me "maybe he isnt ready yet, brng him back in 2 months time he might be well again!" and i told her straight, "its ok i dont think we'll do that."
I happened to run into the teacher's aide on the street one day and she told me she was very close to my boy and he depended alot on her, the teacher had no patience with him and left him alone to cry and refuse to do anything so he practically was alone and when he cling on to the teacher's aide, the teacher would send her off to another class telling her she shouldnt be letting him depend on her like that. And they would stand there and gossip saying "this boy got problem, dont talk..etc." When i heard this i was shocked!!! How could they treat my son this way??? so i called their headquarters and complained. They of cos apologized , but whats done cannot be undone... Zy stopped crying cos he doesnt have to go back to that horrible school. And as for me.... once bitten twice shy.. i had doubts abt ever sending him to school!! Then my husband said to me, i will have to let go becos my son is growing up, i cant possibly keep him by my side forever, so we started school hunting again after 3 months.
The new school is great. Better than what we expected! First, they have an all surround online cctv where u can use the internet and see what ur child is doing in school everyday and plus they have parties every month! Whats most important was my baby boy made very good progress and cant wait to go to school everyday! He loves his teacher and she loves him too, even though he still isnt talking yet but his blabbering is more and now he is even trying to sound out alphabets in phonics!!! Also, he's started to mix with his peers and dance in class and his teacher tries to have one on one sessions with hijm just teaching him new words everyday! I am totally impressed with the school and really glad that there are teachers who believes in "teaching with passion".
However, even though my boy has made such a big progress, we find that he doesnt know how to express himself well and he still hasnt really talked yet. This time around i decided to ignore everyone and proceed to bring my child for an autism assessment.
He was a healthy baby and born through c-section due to me being very afraid of child birth pains. (Dun judge me, everyone has their own fears)
Baby Zy was a gift and when i first saw him, i told myself that i would give this baby everything in the world. ~ I guess thats how all parents feel when they first saw this beautiful stranger aka baby ~
I made sure everything in the house is cleaned and properly sanitized especially with this additional new member that completes my life with the word "Family". Now that he is here, all our time and attention was just soley on our new baby.
Due to certain circumstances, we moved a couple of times and each and everytime we'll try our best to gve baby zy the best and eventually we settled down in a neighbouring country where my husband was born. Baby Zy was growing up day by day and his facial expressions from just smiling started to become giggles and laughters, even his screams were getting louder when he throws a tantrum! He was the cutest little boy in my eyes.. When he first called me "mama" i was soooo happy, and tears welled up in my eyes! i was so sensitive and easily touched by every little thing my baby did! He was well and happy. However, my baby was very afraid of strangers and he will wail and scream everytime somebody comes over to say hello or make comments about how adorable he is. i thought maybe it was becos he was the only baby at home and he havent been with strangers around him and its normal for him to have fears and anxieties, hence i wasnt worried in any way. On his 1st birthday, we brought him for a haircut and threw him a birthday bash with an elmo cake with lots of sesame street character cupcakes! It was a great birthday and i was a proud mother!!! My son turned 1!!!
All was well and different babies have different characters and personalities so even though baby zy wasnt making too much noise or blabberings i just thought my baby is just a quiet baby thats all. But i made an attempt to check with his PD "why is my baby not talking and walking yet"? Only to get the answer "he's still young, its alright, give him more time :)" Im not a PD, i didnt take medical studies and im defintely not a doctor. I was a first time mother! A newbie. (So naturally i chose to believe whatever the doctor says cos that is a professonal) A few months passed and at 16 months my baby took his first step!! i cried!!! it was the most beautiful scene.. and i taped it down like all first time mothers, called everyone in my family to tell them my baby just took his first step and announced it on facebook like a crazy woman!!
Then i realised, my baby stopped callng "mama" and he would keep so quiet that i thought its weird. But then again i had friends who's kids are same age as my baby and they too havent started talking and so i thought its not that weird. But then again i checked with his PD and only to get the answer "boys are usually slower than girls, no worries, give him more time." Upon hearing this i decided my son needs more time.
Baby zy loves to watch tv and when im doing my chores, usually i would just switch on his favourite channel and hurry to finish my chores, and usually he gets so engrossed in it and i end up watching it with him. I began learning the songs, the dances and the actions and try to do it with him, he just watches me smile and laughs like "mommy is a clown". I get him flashcards, cut out alphabets from clothes and plastics to create different textures, sing nursery rhymes and dances for him, he was always laughing and happy.
But of cos life isnt all laughter and happiness there are times where i lost my patience with him when he wakes up in the night and refuses to sleep, or when he throws tantrums, scream and cries.. i've even smacked him on his butt becos i feel that there are diapers so at least its not that hurting and of cos i use my hands. (dun judge me im just only human and theres only so much emotions i can control). My baby was growing up day by day and im begining to feel that he is lonely.. maybe he's so quiet becos he is lonely~ and so baby no.2 came along. I was pregnant and to know that theres another baby coming really made me and my husband excited! My baby zy is gonna have a playmate. His very own sister and he's going to be a big brother.
I had to stay in the hospital for 3 days due to my delivery and that was the 1st time my boy had to separate from me. And everyday my husband would bring him to the hospital to visit me. He came the first day really happy to see my face annd was so reluctant to go home when daddy said it was time to go.. i cried... couldnt sleep the whole time thinking of my baby boy, yeah im the one with the separation anxiety not him. Then on the second day, it turned out that my little boy remembered the way to the hospital and ran straight ahead of his daddy toward my room and surprised me!! I knew he was coming but came running into my room first made me so touched! Its like "awe my baby missed me!!!" and i tried my best to hug him but becos i just had a c section done i couldnt carry him so hugging was the best i could do. The whole time he sat on my bed and stayed close to me i know that my son missed me and of cos i missed him too, even without words our communicating ways were known in each other's heart. And again he didnt wanna go back home without me, before he left he grabbed my hand indicating wanting me to go along and i explained to him "mommy has to stay in the hospital and will be home soon alright? i love you so so much" and i cried again.... went thru the night without any sleep. Finally it was time to go home, he was so happy to see me and curious about his new baby sister too! I was so afraid that he might get jealous and thinks that becos of the new baby mommy is not giving her full attention, so i practically didnt let go of him if i had the chance and i continued to shower and feed him talking and telling him the baby is his sister.
A few months later my boy turned 2 and this year , my husband and i decided that we'll bring him out to dinner and a trip to the amusement park and let him have as much fun as possible, and we bought a mickey mouse cake and a study table with alphabets and numbers in magnet form whereby he can stick onto the white board that comes with it. He was still not talking but he understands everythng we told him and taught him, mimics the dances he sees on tv and blabbers baby language. Also his interaction with strangers and other people were getting better. We checked with his PD again, and still got the answer "boys r usually slower than girls , but if u r really worried maybe u can send him to a speech therapist for an evaluation?" At this point, everyone thinks i was crazy, and nobody listened to me when i said something is not right somewhere and everyone agrees that he may just be a slow bloomer, dont pressurize him and he will talk eventually "the who-so-ever's child didnt talk till he was 4, the other didnt talk till he was 7...."etc. And for a moment i thought i really was thinking too much.
Some people then suggested us to send him to a preschool to mix with children his own age so that he would have friends and start talking (even though zy goes to the playgound often but he didnt like playing wth kids his own age, he prefer the bigger children and he would chase after them to play, but he was small and big kids dun play with small kids so..... it all ends up me n daddy playing with him. he tends to ignore his peers). So we found a preschool for him ad deided to send him there since its an international school and such schools have all sorts of events for kids and it'll be fun to have playmates. But things werent what we expected. My boy first went to school happily and everything was new, he was the only child that wasnt crying over the environment and the other crying kids did not affect him at all. After 2 weeks he started crying and refuse to go to school. I pick him up myself everyday and checked with the teacher on his progress only to get the answer "he's very good!! but he's not talking and tends to be by himself but he is improving!". And every morning when we send zy to school, as soon as we reached the traffic light that leads to the road to the school he starts crying and when i pick him up from school, he cries too a month went by and teachers were saying "he's improving, very good!" etc.. One day as soon as we dropped him off at school, the principal called me on my mobile asking if i could turn back and take zy home becos he wouldnt stop crying. My first thought was "absurd" what did you mean take him home just becos he was crying? What i really wanted to hear was "can u come to the school becos zy is crying, maybe we can sit down and talk about the situation and see what we can do together to solve this problem". Not simply "pls take him home becos he is crying and its affecting the other children." (Just so you know i was still checking with the teacher everyday and all she said was "very good he is improving!!!") So straightaway i went down to his school and took him home let him stay home for a couple of days and brought him to school again, he cried so i decided i will take him out. Maybe he wasnt ready. The principal of that school had the cheek to tell me "maybe he isnt ready yet, brng him back in 2 months time he might be well again!" and i told her straight, "its ok i dont think we'll do that."
I happened to run into the teacher's aide on the street one day and she told me she was very close to my boy and he depended alot on her, the teacher had no patience with him and left him alone to cry and refuse to do anything so he practically was alone and when he cling on to the teacher's aide, the teacher would send her off to another class telling her she shouldnt be letting him depend on her like that. And they would stand there and gossip saying "this boy got problem, dont talk..etc." When i heard this i was shocked!!! How could they treat my son this way??? so i called their headquarters and complained. They of cos apologized , but whats done cannot be undone... Zy stopped crying cos he doesnt have to go back to that horrible school. And as for me.... once bitten twice shy.. i had doubts abt ever sending him to school!! Then my husband said to me, i will have to let go becos my son is growing up, i cant possibly keep him by my side forever, so we started school hunting again after 3 months.
The new school is great. Better than what we expected! First, they have an all surround online cctv where u can use the internet and see what ur child is doing in school everyday and plus they have parties every month! Whats most important was my baby boy made very good progress and cant wait to go to school everyday! He loves his teacher and she loves him too, even though he still isnt talking yet but his blabbering is more and now he is even trying to sound out alphabets in phonics!!! Also, he's started to mix with his peers and dance in class and his teacher tries to have one on one sessions with hijm just teaching him new words everyday! I am totally impressed with the school and really glad that there are teachers who believes in "teaching with passion".
However, even though my boy has made such a big progress, we find that he doesnt know how to express himself well and he still hasnt really talked yet. This time around i decided to ignore everyone and proceed to bring my child for an autism assessment.
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